Dis- Shuffled

I always learn so much each season, usually the lesson comes to me through one of my girls this season was a little different.  This season was one of the most emotional seasons for me and that is saying something (I coached pregnant/post-partum season).  It has been a card game.  After tryouts I felt like I had a stacked deck (one card I wanted but didn’t play out in my hand).  Then as the deck got shuffled—I had a girl quit and 2 girls go down with injuries.  I played the hand I was dealt.  I had to be flexible, which is not my strength.  I know myself pretty well.  I am passionate about volleyball but I would not describe myself as emotional or impulsive decision maker.  I choose my players on stats.  I could not get these girls to come together I had all kinds of talent but not enough team. 

Personally, I felt it came from a divided coaching staff.  I learned that while there have been benefits to being the behind the scenes coach it also limits your control.  I am a firm believer that if you know better you should do better.  I truly felt stifled and the season was a disappointment.  When expectations are not met there is always disappointment.  The greater the expectation the greater the disappointment with that being said I never want to have to lower my expectations.  I always want my players to rise to the occasion.  I think on the flip side of disappointment if you live up to high expectations it builds confidence.  I want to build confidence, I will only continue to coach if I feel I have power to achieve expectations.  If I have to lower my expectations to avoid the disappointment I do a disservice to myself and my players.  So when the chips are down can you keep a poker face?  Well I am who I am if I like the cards I am holding you will know it and if my hand is no good I won’t fold.  I needed this season for reflection to see that I was holding back and I am better than that.  I don’t know if I can come to the table again unless I am the one holding the cards.      

 

Good thing I took a Time-out after the season ended.  This was my first experience with time-out for women I had my apprehensions but it turned out pretty good it is a long time to sit in such a big meeting but it felt personal and I actually enjoyed the girl time! My five words healthy, inspiring, articulate, efficient, energetic.