One wild month later

It is hard to believe that a month ago today we brought little Bennett home. Things still feel very much up in the air, no routine, less money, but lots more peace and love.

Our baby boy was born on January 17th at 9:08pm. 5 weeks early and weighing only 5lbs 18inches long. His birthmother is a woman from southern Utah in her mid-20’s. We do not know what brought her to flagstaff or if the elevation played a role in sending her into labor.  She had planned on placing him and had looked at profiles on-line prior to coming to arizona.  It happened so fast and away from home, but she kept saying she was placing the baby and she was a Mormon. Flagstaff hospital is a safe haven, you can have a baby and walk away with no questions. But she knew she wanted an LDS family from Arizona.

A nurse was able to get her in contact with LDS family services, where he showed her more profiles and got a feel for what type of family she was looking for. She asked to keep a few to look over and the next day (Thursday morning) she said she kept coming back to us. We seemed familiar to her. She selected us because we seemed very family oriented and she wanted him surrounded by family and she saw we had a large family. She liked that we already had children and enjoyed sports.

She was released from the hospital on Thursday and the caseworker informed her that she had to sign the papers on Saturday the 21st or the baby would not go to the family she selected. She said, that is his family, I’ll be here. She chose to look at Bennett but not hold him. I am still in awe of her courage, when there were so many other decisions she could have made.

On Thursday January 19th that afternoon our caseworker called me and asked, how adoption things were going, I told him we were looking into foster to adopt, we were going to start the classes in a few days but weren't sure if we ought to commit. He said, (smiling I’m sure) well maybe I can sway your decision... a birthmother has selected your family. At that point he asked if I was sitting down, then told me to breath.  He proceeded to tell me that our son was born on Tuesday and would be released on Saturday.  I’m sure he told me more but it was unreal and time seemed to stand still. Our world stopped and our to do list changed instantly.

I called Brant and drove to his office. Brant and I knelt in prayer and cried and felt such a strong sense of peace. It was an intense, intimate moment and we knew he was our son. Then we talked and talked about names, about the money, about everything. I also ruined our trip surprise, Natalie and I had booked and planned (Brant knew we were going but didn’t know where). Yes it was booked non-refundable, nontransferable just a few weeks earlier. I didn’t know if it was possible to make arrangements to take the baby with us out of the country. And this was a big enough shock and surprise for him.

I picked the kids up from school and Rianne asked why I was smiling so much, so before we were even home I told them the news but also had to be realistic that the birthmom still had her agency and so we would need to have faith and pray. They were so excited, Heath said yes, I’m not the baby. And then asked when we could go get bunk beds (he has been praying for a baby brother for so long). Rianne has been praying for a baby, she just kept saying this is amazing, can you believe it is even real? I said is this real about a million times over that weekend, we didn’t sleep in worry, anticipation and excitement. Longest 2 days of my life! Friday for the most part seems like a blur. We made a few phone calls and our friends got us a car seat. We also sent out a fast and pray, please request. I felt emotions I don’t even know if they have a description. We prayed A LOT. We poured over baby names.

Saturday 21st

They said little man was sluggish to eat but Saturday afternoon he started to eat really good, ( I think that was the moment he knew he would be a Brown, so he better start eating).

I have been nervous for presentations or games but this was times 100, she had to show up.  We got a call at 1:00 saying they were meeting. We have found there are no real words in expressing our love and gratitude for her, it is an intensity that is new to us. I never knew I could love a complete stranger so deeply. We waited, the longest 2 ½ hours.  At 3:15 we drove to the hospital to see him, I was hoping a name would come once, I knew what he looked like but I didn’t know his name, but the minute I saw him he looked so familiar, I knew him, recognized him. I knew he was mine and loved him! Bennett was released from the hospital weighing 4 lbs 14 oz. We then went to the church to sign the papers then we brought him home. Hard to believe that was just a month ago, He shook up our world and now can’t imagine or remember life without him.

So that is it in a nut shell.  His name is Bennett Osborn.  Bennett means blessed one and it comes from the Burnham side of my family.  Osborn means divine warrior it is from Brant's side of the family.  So he definitely is our little blessed divine warrior.

A month to the day he was born we met with the pediatrician for his one month. When they checked his oxygen it was low so they ran an RSV test and it came back positive. So, we were taken to the hospital. Where we stayed 2 nights, just down the hall from our neighbor who had their baby the same week Bennett was born.

It seemed really weird to be there he just needed oxygen. They released us on the 19th (one month from when we found out about him). Yesterday his temperature spiked and we had to go back in to the ER but luckily we were not readmitted. He is home on oxygen and doing well, how about 7lbs well! We go back in tomorrow to check the oxygen. Some good news is his passport arrived he is free to travel so we get to take him on our big trip. Now we just need to get him healthy.