Sunday, March 10, 2013

13 feel the Love

We celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.  After a volleyball tournament (our girls took 1st). 
 I hurried home and Brant took me (the old ball and chain aka Cannon ball) out to dinner with some friends.  We had a great time.  Sunday he shared his testimony, which I enjoyed. 
Life has been so busy and because our anniversary fell on a Monday we took out our wedding books and told the kids dating stories and then exchanged gifts.  We had a good laugh about how we both picked food and how well we know each other. Brant and I go together perfect like Oreos and milk.  He must know me so well getting me this delicious fruity drink.  Brant and I take turns on our anniversary’s he does the odd years and I do even.  So to celebrate his favorite number he was lucky enough to win ski lift passes and we experienced Skiing for the first time.  The night before I was so apprehensive I was checking Youtube for instructions and Brant was reassuring me that everything was going to be fine. When we started out it was hard, I couldn’t get my skis to work together and I was frustrated.  I was watching this couple (we called them Red Pants) He was patiently teaching her what he obviously knew well how to do and she caught on so quickly.  Brant couldn’t do this so we were both figuring it out as we went.  After about the tenth fall on the bunny hill he asked if this was the worst anniversary date ever, I said well it isn’t the best.  We stayed at it and eventually got the hang of it, by the end we didn’t want it to end!  We had a great time.

On the ski lift Brant said “You are really doing a great job”.  He talked about how skiing was just like me, I get so nervous about changes.  I approach new things with apprehension and need a lot of reassurance but I end up being better at it than I thought.  He really knows me so well.  He handled skiing just like he does life too, “that sounds fun, it can’t be that tough lots of people can do it, so can I”.  At the first he gets frustrated until he figures it out, he does great and even when it is harder than he thought he still wants to continue.  In the end he doesn’t seem to remember the struggle, the crashes, or the falls.  He keeps his focus on the fun! 
Skiing parallels marriage, at least ours.  I was so scared to get married so much doubt in my abilities to be a good wife and I still need reassurance that I’m good enough.  It has been much better than I expected!  We have had our share of crashes and we are figuring it out as we go. There is no one I’d rather be on this adventure with!  Thank you for 13 wonderful years.  We have Rocked the Bunny hill.
       
One of the most amazing stories of love enduring has to be about my grandma and grandpa Johnson.  They are not actually my grandparents but when I came to live with my aunt and uncle in Kanab they took me in as their own.  They were married nearly 72 years.  Grandma J passed away and my heart just ached for Grandpa.  I thought of this quote “As I held her hand and saw mortal life drain from her fingers, I confess I was overcome. Before I married her, she had been the girl of my dreams, to use the words of a song then popular. She was my dear companion for more than two-thirds of a century, my equal before the Lord, really my superior. And now in my old age, she has again become the girl of my dreams.”—President Hinckley.  That is deep, powerful and real Love.        
      
I taught a lesson today.  I had a few of the girls share a time when they felt loved.  It was interesting that it was when they were having a tough day and someone noticed it and did something.  One named a service preformed, another named a time with physical affection and I couldn’t help but think of sacrifices (in whatever form) that confirmed the love.  I’m sure we have been told “I love you” long before the experiences happened which confirmed the reality of that love.  I think the secret is having and recognizing those reconfirmations of Love.  I’m talking about genuine love.  So much of the world seems to shout IF you really Love me THEN you’ll do this.  The THIS they request isn’t true love and means they will withdraw their love.  I think it has made me resist feelings of love because with THIS love it is just obligation.  I guess it struck me this week the scripture IF you love me (then) keep my commandments.  I wrestled with this as obligatory.  But His love is not contingent, He will love us keeping or breaking the commandments but His plea is for us to love Him, He will recognize our efforts to express love in obeying the commandments and His love will be reconfirmed through the spirit.  When you are in love you think you can do anything (that whole love conquers all feeling).  I felt it on a ski lift, conquering a mountain.  I felt it at a funeral.  And I felt that reconfirmation in church.  I felt it with the Johnson's. 
I have moments of going through the motions (obligation) but I’m grateful in our 13 years I have felt more reconfirming moments than obligatory moments.    There is a power in the security of love that makes us better than we are.  I feel lucky to be really loved.

 

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