Well I HOPE so

 I was asked to teach a breakout session for the stake relief society women’s conference.  The theme was “In this life you shall have joy”.  It was probably more of a ploy to get me to attend (never been) After they buttered me up, I accepted then they paired me with someone to teach with.  After meeting with my partner I had some apprehensions… ok I was flat out nervous our teaching styles seemed to be in complete contrast.  Well after much prayer on the topic given to us (Hope) Things started to come together, I have to say even the night before I thought it would be so choppy.  I put it in His hands and HOPED for the best J.  Ya know what the Lord did have it in his hands because it went so much better than any of our run-through’s!  Here are my notes or at least my part:
We talked about types of hope proximate, false, and of course ultimate. 
Proximate was about things we used to hope for with audience participation of course ;) Mine at 5 were wonder woman powers and learning to read;) as a teenager they changed to making the team and being taller. My hopes for today were that the check won’t bounce and my health will improve. 

False hope was about trusting in the arm of flesh for my portion I shared this: Sometimes our hope is for a righteous desire, but we get focused on the How the now or the later.  This is what i/we want, this is how it should come and when.  We look beyond the mark (Jacob 4:14) and put our trust in the arm of flesh (2 Nephi 4:34) We can be afraid to hope because we think, we don’t deserve it, we aren’t good enough.  Perhaps we are putting off hope because we can’t see the how.  We feel we have no control, we lose hope in ourselves having the power to create it, so we defer it. (Proverbs 13:12)   Oh I will hope for that when I see it coming, which makes us sick in our hearts and diminishes the miraculous power of hope.  

I had to illustrate with a story This is my youngest son, Bennett.  When we received a call about him we had been HOPING to adopt for nearly 4 years.   For me it was not about having a baby or becoming a mom (I have 2 biological children).  So I needed to know that this boy was the spirit that was supposed to be in our home.  As my husband and I knelt in his office asking I knew, he was my son.  I didn’t want to get my hopes up, we had a birthmother select us once and then choose to parent.  His birthmother could not relinquish her parental rights until Saturday, I could hope but she had her agency I had no control and we put all our hope in the Lords arm until He put Bennett into ours

False hope also has to do with what hope isn’t. At first I wanted to separate Faith and Hope, talk about their differences, but I was missing the mark.  My mind kept coming back to the triangle you know each point represents something but leads to the other, one in purpose. 

President Uchtdorf in his talk the infinite power of hope, refers to Hope as one leg of a three-legged stool, together with faith and charity. So while I do not need to separate them because they are one in purpose, I do want to identify the opposite of hope. Because there is (2 Nephi 2:11)

By definition despair is the absence of hope.  Hope being completely gone doesn’t usually happen in just one blow, those are devastating.  I believe just as our faith is tested so is our hope.  In that triangle of hope leading us to faith and charity, there is in complete contrast, worry and doubt leading us to despair.  Worry gives way to anxiety and allows our mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles.  Doubt is uncertainty, hesitation, and insecurity.  They lead us to despair.

We often do not recognize the subtlety of worry and doubt.  We hear LITTLE generality statements like “woman are prone to worry” If you worry comes easy to you please stand up WOW woman do naturally worry, sit down explain In a woman's brain the hippocampus (memory) & anterior cingulated cortex (worry) are larger than a male. We naturally have more capacity to worry, But then the natural man scripture applies to women.  (Mosiah 3:19) 

Worry may seem like a little thing that everyone does and it is not ALL bad, and that weakness can become a strength (Ether 12:27).  Weakness in worry can become our strength in Hope

We can agree that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass (Alma 37:6) but it applies in opposition as well.  Worry and doubt can lead to despair.  (2nephi 28:8) “lie a little”—beat us with a “few” n stripes pretty soon in vs 11 they have “gone out of the way” and by 21 they are lead carefully down to hell.  I am not implying that having hope makes us believe ALL is well in Zion.  But we can drag ourselves down, hold ourselves back when we wallow or succumb to worry, doubt and eventually despair.    I was a worrier as a kid my grandma would always listen patiently as I poured out my worries, she would acknowledge my feelings and then say well, you can fret and you can stew but girl you have got to decide what you are going to do.  I appreciate her example in moving me away from despair and towards hope.—real hope 

Ultimate hope

Elizabeth did most of this and it was awesome with Dory and her short term memory loss.  I loved her part from Elder Simmons –  When Shadrach, Meshach, Abed-nego refused to bow down and worship golden images set up by the king. King Nebuchadnezzar told them that if they wouldn’t worship as commanded he would have them cast into a burning fiery furnace. The three young men were confident and responded, if you do that our God will protect and will deliver us from the fiery furnace. Then they continued and said “But if not, we will not serve thy Gods, nor worship the golden image.” They knew they could trust God, even if things didn’t turn out the way they had hoped (being delivered). Hebrews 11 illustrates all these results of different peoples faith. Very glorious sounding outcomes. But we have to remember that in the midst of all the glorious outcomes hoped for and expected by those involved, there were always the but if nots (being stoned, cast out, tempted, slain by the sword, afflicted, tormented, cruel mocking, bonds, imprisonment, etc). God often provides us better things through our sufferings, ”for without suffereings we could not be made perfect.” God has the power but ultimately it’s our test. To hope and accept BUT IF NOT.    

My part was adding the song Hope of Israel with this

Talks about rising with might with the sword (the only weapon given in the armor of god) it is the sword of the spirit, sound your war cry—watch and pray.  We can vanquish EVERY foe TODAY.  Whatever your foe today may be rise in hope.  In 1 Thessalonians In 1 Thessalonians 5:8 But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation. This is so visual to me SWORD Breastplate to protect our hearts is done in faith because we have protected our minds with hope.  That we may serve Him with our heart might and mind (D&C 4:2)   The battle continues every day, but it will be worth the fight more will win than lose. 

Making my bed is a daily task, usually I say my morning prayers right after I make my bed.  It serves as a reminder for me when I was very sick and good days were when it was the only task I could perform.  Now as I rise from my morning prayers with hope.  I know that whatever the day brings it is already better than those good bad days.  (music) When dark clouds of trouble hang over and threaten my peace to destroy there is hope  smiling brightly before me and I know that deliverance is nigh I doubt not the lord nor his goodness I’ve proved him in days that are past.  I can vanquish my worries and my doubts every foe today.   

We looped a video of the woman at the well she kept making that walk and I shared this

(John 4:6-26)     

                Around lunch time His disciple go to buy meat he sits at Jacobs well, Which well was a given as a miracle people are still drawing from it.  A woman of Samaria comes to draw water and Jesus asks her for a drink, I love her response, how can you ask of my service you are a jew, above asking for help with anything.

Jesus answered If you knew, really knew who I was and what I was asking even of the simplest task you, you would have asked for living water.   Then she says you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep how are you going to offer living water?   Here we are at the well where our father Jacob miracle was performed are you better than him?  Jesus tells her I have even more of a gift than sustainable water I have water that if you drink you won’t thirst again.  The water I will give shall be a well of water springing up into everlasting life.  She asks for this water, he lets her know it is not just for her and reminds her of some changes she needs to make in her life.  She realizes he knows her and then asks why Jerusalem is where we have to worship, He says it isn’t about Sunday or going through the motions, something you don’t even know why.  I have come unto mine own.  True worshipers will worship in spirit and truth it for that is what the father is looking for will we do it when it is hard, when no one is watching.  Worship him as a daughter of God aligning our spirit with His.  She says some days are hard but I do know that messias cometh and He says you are talking to Him. 

 I love this story with such deep symbolism!  He reveals himself to a woman who feels inconsequential, a woman who is performing a mundane task.  We too make that mundane walk, and are asked to perform what appear today to be menial tasks.  Even when the well is deep and it feels like we have nothing to draw with “our buckets feel/seem empty”.  He helps us recognize where we can make changes and He knows us, He wants us to come unto Him He is with us in our everyday endeavors.  Worship spirit to spirit (our bodies are 70% water the earth surface is 70% water) he offers us hope in salvation. 

 May we like in Isaiah 12:2-3, With Joy draw from the wells of salvation, by having hope every day

I am still not sure why they chose me for hope but it went pretty good.  It was so nice to have my mom and Mary come watch me present. It was great to have my dad here for a few days too!

  I went like crazy preparing and I crashed afterwards I HOPE I recover ;)               

When there is love @ home

Well this has been an interesting school year I have met with Heath’s teacher a few times but she seems unwilling to make adaptations for Heath.  I think she would like to tell me he is ADHD.  However he is doing fine academically and qualified for the gifted program.  He is a very independent thinker which seems to get him in trouble.  I have let her know that she is not to take away recess from him and if she can’t think of anything else for behavior consequences, I will come get him.  He is very active and that was a rough day for all of us L.  Then the awards for the cleanest table Heath wants to win and sometimes he will push the envelope.  So after assigning himself to his own table and holding interviews making sure his table would commit to keeping things clean yes he stacked his team the teacher felt he was excluding other kids.  When I asked him about it he said I like to play with him on the playground but he has a messy table no way he is sitting at my table.  This kid is management!  The behavior issues continued especially during math (How would you like taking the same test you have received a perfect score on twice before?)  I began to loath when she had pick up duty, I was sick of hearing “he had a rough day today”!  The final straw was when Heath asked me “what do you do if you like someone but they don’t like you?”  I told him he could still be kind and try to include them but shake it off if they don’t choose to play with you, We talked about we read Luke Chapter 6 about loving your enemies I said we can always be kind. 

 

Heath got this little smile and announced that he would be praying for his teacher.  This really did break my heart.  I admit he is a tough kid and add that to 20 other kids and major challenge, but he is my tough kid and desires to be good, I love him.  I was praying what should I do?  The principal didn’t think we had enough cause to change classes.  In church I felt this calm feeling that he needed to know he was loved.  So I pulled him to be homeschooled. After testing to see where he was grade level for spelling he was right on reading a year above but math 5^th grade!  No wonder he was bored.  I don’t have some crazy good curriculum.  I am doing physio-neuro work but what I do have is love for this challenging, strong willed, smart boy!   When I let his teacher know she said “that is really going to bring down my class test scores”.  I keep coming back to the book the true story of the 3 little pigs.  I am usually a pretty calm fella but when somebody says something like that I tend to go a little crazy.  I was fine but it just confirmed to me that he was a number and this kid is more than a test score to me!  I really am enjoying our time together more than I thought and he has been awesome for Bennett.  Makes some pretty mean pancakes and gives a great hand massage oh and does good school work too!