Swinging Santa

Christmas came full swing too fast maybe not having snow made it feel farther away. We had to make some adjustments to my treatments, which is frustrating because I want to move forward with the fight but at least I am not as sick just swollen.   We enjoyed parties and music and visitors swinging by with treats.  We had a few secret Santa surprises and someone did the 12 days of Christmas to us.  I can’t believe how much those little visits lifted our spirits; we were overwhelmed with that show of kindness.  It is hard to even express how much it meant to us and how much we needed it, even when we didn’t realize it.

We swung into Kanab for Christmas Eve nativity

Grandpa is the best narrator and

Mary & Joseph were the cutest ever.  This Christmas Eve tradition is one of my very favorites and Heath was a great donkey too. 

We loved Christmas with Grandma & Grandpa and we were so glad to have Natalie’s family there too!  We like building better relationships and Bennett was loving Kajia’s Frozen dolls

  Rianne loves surprises and loves doing the Santa prep.  Nearly every Santa surprise was snooped out by the boys and we had to readjust gifts.  Ria was certain she wouldn’t have any surprises she knew all of her gifts too. 

She didn’t have too many things on her list just: Hailey, (a friend who moved) jeggings, jeans and mint shampoo.  My highlight was swinging a Santa surprise for her Jolly Ol’ St. Nick said  “she could Ring in the New Year with an Old friend”. 

She was delighted with gas cards!   The Boys were very pleased with Christmas too! 

My parents went in on a gift for Mr. Clean too! 

One thing I love about being the mom is that Christmas really becomes about joy of giving and makes me feel closer to Christ who gave the ultimate gift.

We are looking forward to swinging in a New Year. 

Here is our Christmas letter too.            

  

pie in the face

 

I asked Brant if he was frustrated with me and all the health stuff, if it was putting too much on him.  In Brant fashion he said “I hate Lyme, Jana I love you they are not the same”.   To him it is that simple I do a decent job of separating the two or at least avoiding having them together.  Separating the two that is the emotional aspect I have been avoiding addressing. Really it has been an emotional battle a different sort of self-discovery.  I use all the avoidance techniques possible but then it comes and hits ME in the face.  I like to make pie, it is therapeutic and with volleyball over I guess I am missing therapy. So I guess I will hash it out on my blog.  I didn’t want to admit it, I was going to have a good enough day to make it happen, I bought the ingredients it is mind over matter and I kept telling myself I can do this.  Into the pie crust I went my favorite part, only it wasn’t therapeutic at all it hurt, and then it hurt my heart and tears don’t mix well with pie crust, I had to admit I couldn’t do it.  Heath rescued me he mixed the pie crust, he kept asking "does it look right mom" but I couldn’t see much through my tears.  The crust turned out fine Rianne did the fillings.   They weren’t pretty but they tasted great.  If I wouldn’t have been so consumed with my self-pity I would have some pictures.  I guess the thing that really hits me in the face these are NOT new symptoms I have had all of them before just not all at once.    

 

So this holiday it was winning the faceoff.  The new symptom broke me, thrown in my face through the holiday.  The new one is the throwing up.  The some days of September when I can’t keep down my pills has taken a turn to nearly every day.  It is bulimia with no weight loss benefit in fact gaining weight BLAHHH.  Just to save face I agreed to let Brant officially share the news it is Lyme not me, although I am feeling it!      

Gratitude in all things even when it is pie to the face…        We did get to go to my favorite place on earth!  Kanab did not disappoint perfect weather the two best fall sports in the world with family and food!    

 

Panther Tracks

This year I did a train analogy for each game I enjoyed the motivational moments.  The first warning you have that a train is coming is the whistle, which is all the other team’s we will face get too, from the first blow of the whistle, it is on.  I shared why I was all aboard this season, that I felt tied to these girls with railroad ties.   I gave them boarding pass for a winning destination.  And tried to motivate them to TRAIN:  T.EAM’S R.ELENTLESS A.TTITUDE  I.NTESITY  N.OW.   They started the season 4-0.  The steam engine is considered the most powerful idea in the world.  No one person invented the steam engine. It was a case of many small inventions being put together until a specific need was met.  Steam engine was the first form of human generated power. With it, you could power a locomotive, and pull hundreds of tons at high speed.  Steam engine not brilliant inspiration on the part of an individual, but the combined efforts of many people, each building on what someone else had discovered.  Steam engines are powered with water and fire.  Put your heads together and go full steam ahead!  They lost a little steam but learned lose and win as a team that is what I know about us ;)

Then with a lucky penny they shook it off and crushed   the next 2 teams they were loaded with panthers and leaving tracks stepping into victory.  After a long week something switched the other team had a switchman like this:  A man worked in the head office of one of the railroads. One day he received a telephone call from his counterpart in Newark, New Jersey, who said that a passenger train had arrived without its baggage car. The patrons were angry. They discovered that the train had been properly made up in Oakland, California, and properly delivered to St. Louis, from which station it was to be carried to its destination on the east coast. But in the St. Louis yards, a switchman had moved a piece of steel just three inches. That piece of steel was a switch point, and the car that should have been in Newark, New Jersey, was in New Orleans, Louisiana, thirteen hundred miles away.  We had reached a low point, we are in the heal position,  which is when the engine is loading up, when the coal is being shoveled into the fire Chugga Chugga we had to dig out from a loss which is what they CHOO-CHOOsed to do.  Learched forward got fired up and blew away the next 3 teams. 

For the big Flag High game I let them know: Our track always goes through Flag High and each of our Railroad ties include this as a Winning stop.  From the first whistle blow, we are in pursuit of it.  I am certain you have the winning ticket, we have loaded up for it.  They will put things in our path I know it will take a lot of steam but we can crush them.  You are the part of flipping that switch and our record is about to flip to 10! I think we CAN, the chugga- chugga choo- choo it is up to you!  We are Wound to Win!  WIN will come when we link with WORK.   W has more points at the top but it will take some climb to end up on top but I know these Panthers and they can Climb!  I am wound up for the Win Let’s get to work and ride this TRAIN to a W.  Although we didn’t come through with the W I felt like the track from last year was cleared.  They came back from the loss on fire winning their next 4 matches and beating the next team in one match 25-3 and knocking off the #1 ranked team!   I gave them a little reminder with personal crossing sign reminding them they were crossing into heavy competition.  Our train stopped traffic and crossed through with a BIG win!  

Like the polar express we kept the hot streak coming not to let it cool we set our standard just like a train.  The track is exactly four-foot, eight-and-a-half-inches wide. That standard was set by George Stephenson, A mine worker he worked in different mines the width of the rails varied from mine to mine since they didn't share tracks.  He simply chose to make the rails for his project 4-foot, eight ½ inches wide.  Train tracks that run across highest peaks and through valleys have that standard.  We set the standard by how we choose to play from the highest ranked team to the lowest, our standard should not change.

As the season came to a close we ended up 13-4 with an  8-1 home record, Then we came through the Tunnel at Sate.   We finished with a 14-5 record.  When it was all over and we all came through our arms came up with 5^th or 6^th place finish at state.      

This is not the season I wanted it was the season I needed.  While I wanted to come back and thought it was for the girls, through the course of the season I realized I needed it more for me.  I watched these seniors through 3 coaching changes, I wanted them to have some consistency.  What I didn’t realize is I needed the consistency of coaching more than they needed me. Coaching volleyball is just a part of me, It has been something I do but this season did something for me.  I live for the strategy for the stats and even the struggle to improve or get better.  .

When I received my treatment plan (strategy) for beating Lyme  and I have watched my numbers fluctuate like our (stats).  Things I thought I could beat have been set backs and fighting away from home when a win seemed impossible has come through. 

My treatments have paralleled our season like a perfectly spaced railroad track.  It really has been my therapy, maybe that is why I am struggling with the end of the track.  This has been my source of balance.  I am a little scared to be without it, holding me up making me push through.  I will Need to TRAIN and stay on track big wins are just around the bend.   Llife is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is enjoying the ride.  Thanks for the ride panthers I have really enjoyed it truly therapeutic for me!

I was so grateful that as Katie’s first coach I was able to say a few words at her division 1 signing!  I have been so blessed to coach her!  Now I can be a bit COCKY well for a minute club season is just around the corner.     

Stinkin' Sweet Halloween

 We kept Halloween pretty simple this year. 

Rianne was sweet grapes Heath was a stinkin’ spider.   

I was a sweet flower and Bennett was a stinkin’ cute skunk. 

Quick trunk or treat and a few trick or treat doors.  Bennett loves to say “ahhh scary” and make ghost faces. 

If he sees anything Halloween (pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons etc.) he points and says “boo”.  It is a holiday all for him funny faces and candy!           

 

Lucky #13

 I love teenagers and now I have one of my very own. 

I had work training on her birthday so she almost had to celebrate on her own too!  She is so much like her dad and just goes with the flow even making her own cake!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY has 13 letters so that worked out. 

She is very excited to start back into music lessons and have a cell phone.  Every teenager wants to go to the movies few of them would choose Meet the Mormons but Dad will take her and a few friends later this week.  Happy Birthday Baby girl!                   

Love your Face, forever

I was not going to miss this event for the world!  Brant had a business trip in CA he was able to change his flight to fly to Salt Lake I just had to get there to pick him up and then up to Logan for Susan & Jason’s Sealing!  I was a little nervous about making the road trip with just me and 3 kids but they did very well, Rianne is a very fun traveling companion.  She kept me entertained with movie quotes made up bingo boards and getting Bennett to make all his faces here are a few.

surprised

dirty looks

scared

Scrunch

Going back to Logan reminded us of the good ol’ days.  We got engaged here (15 years ago this month) Logan was the first I went through.  We spent our first 2 years of marriage in Logan.  The trip down memory lane was great, we had to take a few trips to find our engagement spot too, Logan has grown and we are old. 

We even got to catch up with old friends who are back in Logan and they were nice enough watched the kids while we went through with Susan. 

I was so grateful to be there with her and loved that they both couldn’t stop smiling, Susan had the glow.  I really feel like their love story is proof in the power of LOVE!    

It was quick but great to see everyone and share in the joy of the day!

Then we rushed back to attend Tyler’s Homecoming.  Heath said it felt like he was gone FOREVER.  He did a great job we are so glad to have him back and for his example for Heath.   

Now I am SO swollen and I hurt but it was worth it, love that families are forever but the pain isn’t.        

Holy Crap he's 9

Heath is such a boy now he is a Bear in scouts he loved his advancement, Dad missed it he was out of town with work.  He loves to talk one day on our way home from school we had and in-depth discussion on the many different words for poop.  Then he found it absurd that people use holy in front of it.  Even though he doesn’t like when he doesn’t mean to be, holy crap he is funny!  

He sometimes too smart for his own good, after a spelling test our conversation went like this
Heath: I think if I miss 3 next time, I can move down a group.
 Me: Why would you want to do that?
Heath: the words are way easier; I wouldn’t even have to study. 
Holy crap he’s smart.    

He is a whiz at math but also loves to read.  He has read the series of unfortunate events and is often found reading or doing Sudoku.  He loves Basketball and has enjoyed the dirt court grandpa put in, and is a big fan of the Michigan Wolverines.  As the middle child his birthday was sandwiched between Dr. appointments, business trips and volleyball.  I did manage to take treats to his classroom.  We went to Phoenix so he was able to swim he liked sharing his birthday celebration with Jake.  

Have I mentioned what a blessing it is to have Emily & Jake so accommodating? I am amazed at how much can change and stay the same in 9 years!  I love that he is who he is and now he is a 9 year old boy holy crap I love him!    

Labor of Love

We LOVE LOVE Kanab and when we have a chance to get that red sand in good friends hearts we are all for it.  We were so excited to have the Larsen’s join us in the beautiful red hills of Kanab over Labor Day weekend. 

We took them to a few of the cool sights of Kanab which included the sand caves and Crocodile.  We had a great time and hope they did too!  We even made souvenir sand bottles.       

So I helped with tryouts and then… I got sucked back in I know that logically it doesn’t make any sense I guess I’m just not ready to give up coaching High school volleyball yet. 

It is a labor I just love.  So here I go and the girls are ALL ABOARD!

At his age he is NO scaredy cat

For Brant’s birthday we were going to take advantage of our new go to babysitters so great to have family in the Valley now.  (Emily and Jake are the best) On Friday I had a doctor’s appointment, Saturday we went to the temple.  During the session I became extremely dizzy and weak I started to pray to please let me get through the session.  I did, but we were both pretty shook up.  We don’t like when (physical) shakes our spirit.  I always get frustrated when the symptoms take over I don’t like that to be the focus L.  While I felt like I ruined his birthday he reminded me, “I love you, I don’t like Lyme”.  People may think he is great but they have no idea the extent of his awesomeness.  I don’t even think I could express it nor do I want to share the details of those events, which would prove how truly amazing he is.  He is one of my Biggest blessings, he gave a great talk today too!

 I did have some redemption on his actual birthday I had a talented friend make cinnamon rolls to take to bishopric meeting.  Brant’s birthday also marks 5 years at NAU. 

The battle with the lawn continues I learned Brant’s distain for prairie dogs is greater than his distain towards cats.  This month we welcomed Scratch and Lane and hope they are good hunters and tolerate Bennett’s love.  We will see how we do as pet owners.         

 

Middle of Wise guys

These 2 wise guys were able to visit while we were in the middle of back to school prep.   

Rianne is literally in the middle of middle school, Heath is the middle child in the middle of elementary school, Bennett is always in the middle of a mess! 

Brant gave Rianne a blessing and while I was grateful for the strength he said she will receive.  We both felt the weight of what a difficult year this may be for her. 

Heath will be returning to school and pray that will go well.  I am really going to miss him, keep wondering how I will manage without him.  Bennett still asks for them throughout the day and now adds where is grandpa and grandma? 

I enjoy being in the middle of gaining some wisdom.  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf message Always in the middle--keeps coming to mind https://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/07/always-in-the-middle?lang=eng