Officially a Trekies

I’ve never been a big Star Trek fan but I am now officially a big fan of the pioneer trek.


For anyone unfamiliar with Mormon culture. It was a reenactment of the trek made from Iowa City to Salt Lake City by some of the early members of the church. Many Latter Day Saints were poor and from other countries. In order for them to make it they literally pulled their own handcart (like a small covered wagon) for hundreds of days and over a thousand miles.

you'll see who had the camera most of the trek! 

Each “family” would be assigned to pull their hand cart for a 4 day trip as a tribute to those who made that sacrifice. Brant and I were asked to go on the pioneer trek as adult children, which meant we weren’t in the same family. Brant was excited, I was nervous. As the time got closer I got excited and Brant got nervous! I knew my role was to let the kids have their own experience. Brant thought he was just there to pull the handcart I don’t think I ever saw him NOT in yoke pulling. He was like a kid a big though and a fun kid too.

Brant's Family

We showed up sporting our pioneer fashions, found our families and met our brothers and sisters and Ma’s and Pa’s! We were anxious and excited to head out and as we got going we realized some disadvantages to being the last cart. We ate a lot of DUST. Every time someone ahead of us stopped we stopped. Brant’s family was the handcart in front of ours. We got to a rough hill but having watched how the other carts did it, and what worked best we handled it with precision. I thought this is what it is all about; learning from the people who had gone before, who have figured out the rough terrain of life. But there was more trail up ahead still.

The next tribute happened when the battalion came in and took the men to war and created the “women’s pull” experience which was done in silence and the boys watched as we “women only” pulled our families cart up a steep hill. I was overwhelmed at the true spirit of sisterhood, women dropped their carts and began helping others only to run back down and get another cart until all the carts had reached the top. My legs were burning, it was a tough pull, but as I saw Brant I was determined to have my head high, I didn’t want him to see me struggle I wanted to be strong because I knew it was difficult for him to not be able to jump in and help. I made it to the top turned around and with shaky legs ran back down and pulled with other women another cart up that steep hill. After we found our families again we sat in silence, I was sick so I had some water and a few nuts and that really helped but our boys didn’t want the girls to get in a pull any more after that.

Brant’s experience with the women’s pull is different from mine…this is Brant typing now. Watching the women pull was the hardest thing we had to do during the trek. I just wanted to help them and felt helpless. It was awesome to see how strong all these women are though and especially how strong Jana was. They are so strong and they need to be respected for their strength. It was also neat to see how the sisters were angels to one another in the service that they provided to help each other up that hill. The sisters do that all the time not just for each other. They are always helping one another, they are so much better about that than we men. Some of the leaders had also taken the opportunity to talk with the boys and men about young women and how it is our responsibility to protect and respect them and protect their virtue. I thought that was a very important message for all the boys on the trek, but I also found that this experience increased my own level of respect for womanhood.

I hope I learned to keep my head up, there are some hard things I’ve been asked to do but I can do it, and I never have to do it alone. We had more trail ahead!

We walked into the night and pushed and pulled through the tiredness. I know it was only 16 miles and it only seemed like 45 minutes (an inside joke for trekies)! But we were pushed to the point that you started to ask, “Why am I here? Is getting there even worth it?” My naturally negative thoughts came creeping in then something happened I noticed the exhaustion did different things to different people. Some wanted to push through harder and faster (we passed a lot of carts with our determined drive). Then only a few of our girls started to get sick, others started to be a little whiney. Something in me snapped and I thought, “You knew you were coming for the pioneer experience, you seemed so happy and capable, is this what you want to be known for? Your influence will be someone’s memory about trek, and you can choose to arrive miserable or happy.” I can’t choose the camping spot but I can decide to have “joy in the journey”. Suddenly the sky was beautiful with the trees and the stars and I was able to get in and pull: I was determined. Our boys were strong, one even got out and puked several times only to get back in without complaint. I was impressed to think that those are the people I want pulling with me. Our girls were good too. When we are pushed our true colors do come out. We made camp for the night, but there was still more trail ahead…

most of my brother's and sisters are behind me. 

Along the way they had remembering moments, When they told the story of the brother’s 11 and 5 and the 11 year old carried the five year old on his back and died of exhaustion. I know Rianne would have done that for Heath. We also talked about momentum how you need to be in motion when you get to that hill and keep pushing up, life is the same way we have to keep our movement with the everyday scriptures, prayers etc. so that when the trail gets rough we can make it through it. We traveled not as far to our next camp, and had our Saturday, I shot a gun I even hit a card! Got my hair washed, and did some “dancing” with Brant. I really enjoyed watching him in this setting, he really got in and loved his family he was so relaxed. It made us wish for more simplicity in life. After about the 5th bag of jerky one of our girls asked if the pioneers even had jerky, that was pretty funny. My family was a lot of fun with Baby Brady keeping us laughing and Ethan keeping us guessing! and the beautiful claire even ate a deep fried beatle, yum. 

my future sister-in-law Trek style

The next day was Sunday on the trail (which was also my birthday) I didn’t want a lot of fan fair because I felt like this experience was for the kids, We went to our “Sunday school” Brant made me feel very special. During the quiet time of the day he wrote me a sweet letter, without me knowing he asked my pa for my hand (now that I’m of age). Then his family came over sang happy birthday to me and he got down on one knee and asked if I would be his wife. So maybe in four years we’ll have a family of our own ;) I fell in love with him again (I keep doing that:). We had sacrament meeting in the evening it was very spiritual. Then my brothers and sisters shared their stories of who they were walking in remembrance of, I kept thinking of Ester Brown, who was rescued by her husband Gurnsey Brown. I thought about how many time Brant has been my rescuer. That night I also went to visit Brant for a minute, well when I was coming back I couldn’t find my family my flashlight was getting dim and the lantern at our camp was not on. I was getting worried, luckily I had some other rescuers who got me back to camp. It was a wonderful birthday, but I don’t think cornmeal mush will be a request for breakfast anytime soon!



with my Ma & Pa Palmer



The next day we packed up for our Journey to Zion. We were determined to be close to the front we didn’t get their first, although we got blamed for this (Brant’s family actually did it) it was funny.

Isn't that always the way you are doing your best and people try to hold you back! 

I know this experience was for the kids involved but it turned out to be very personal self-discovery experience for me. I learned that handcart companies made up only 10% of the pioneers who traveled to the valley. I found that interesting 10% something to think about huh? We experience miracles when we are giving our best, although our experience was a simulation we experienced miracles too, the wind calmed, received increased strength and more.

I'll add more pictures if/when I get them, I could just sum it up with this:

People from the past can teach us, keep your head up you are stronger than you think, have joy in the journey. You may not choose your family, we are here to enhance the experience. Surround yourself with people who will help push or pull you to your goal, Live so your memories bring you happiness, the blisters and bruises will heal. It is but a small moment but if thou endure it well. We have a heavenly father who knows and loves us. This life is a journey is one of self-discovery and there is more trail ahead.

Fabulous Fathers

We have church early and Heath was really being a terror, maybe he is always like that but Brant is the one who usually gets him up and ready. We did make him a breakfast. 

YUMMY

 But with trying to give Brant a break we were late for church.


Heath deemed dad as “Ruler of the Day”, for him to give over control is pretty impressive ;)


He decided around mother’s day that his own tool box would be perfect for dad on father’s day and couldn’t wait to give it to him! I love his face in this picture! 

I know my kids love their dad so much. (dad day kids) but probably have no idea how lucky they are! Rianne is  such a daddy's girl and is always making him something or writing him notes.  She made him a little frame for father's day! 

I try to have them do some quick pick up before dad gets home from work and it is some signal for excitement in our home because they are checking every five seconds for his car, Brant is usually hugged before he even gets through the door. These everyday daddy moments are therapy to me!

Brant is the one they can’t wait to tell him some event of their day, the one they call for when they are sick, the first one they ask to play a game with. My kids think Dad can fix anything (except a tape measurer) that he knows everything, He is certainly the most patient! I accept the fact that he is the fun one!

Teaching Heath to ride without training wheels

I love him as my husband, and seeing him as the amazing dad he is makes me love him even more!

Here are Four Fabulous fathers who you rarely see without one of their kids! We had them over for a Lasagna dinner and Pie!

you are SEW a good Mom!

People say things like “you are a good mom” and that is nice. I’m not a bad mom, I’m not a good mom but I have good kids.

Rianne did my hair for mother’s day and Heath made me eggs (after he said “make me some eggs already”)

Sometimes these two really do make me proud, they also give me the title of Mom which I am grateful for.

They are thoughtful see they gave me a sleeping bag so I wouldn’t get cold on trek.

Somehow what your children do becomes a reflection of what kind of mom you are. My kids do some praise worthy things, and some not so good things. Either way I think it is generally in spite of their mother not because she is “good” or not. Truthfully I do love my children very much but I am selfish. I lose my patience with insignificant things, like when they don’t take their plates to the sink.

I know some mom’s who I admire. They feel the same reflection as a gauge to their description of what kind of mom they are. The problem with this is they are incredible but they have extremely challenging kids. They are patient EVERYDAY they celebrate personal victories when it is just that the amount of meltdowns this week went down. They recognize and are grateful for things I take for granted in fact I may not even notice. I’m not just talking about once in a while I am saying they consistently do this day in and day out with little or no praise. I wouldn’t want to change places with them but I want to be that kind of GOOD as a mom.

Motherhood wears me thin even with my good kids and the amazing support system I have. I just can’t cover everything. I always have a pile of mending that needs to be done from holes my weaknesses leave. Figuratively and literally. I have a mother-in-law who has patched us up figuratively and literally. Check out this patch job for Rianne with that personal touch! Thanks grandma Brown for ALL the patch jobs!

Signs of Growth

I knew today would be special Heath came into our room at 6:00am dressed for church. That NEVER happens! He must have had something important to do; for the first time, Heath shared his testimony in church. He has talked about doing it before, but has never gone up. I never go up with them, when they are ready they do it. He said mom I'm going to today I said ok what are you going to say? He told me that Jesus makes his tummy feel better when he says sorry, that he likes the scriptures Dad reads to him. I said well when this person is done you can go up he sat on the side of me and when it was his turn I said ok you can go up now. Without hesitation he took off to the microphone and got scared at first he just breathed into it but finally he said "I'd like to bare his testimony, I know the church is true" I love the scriptures and I like when my dad reads them to me" then he thought a little more and closed.

He seemed to grow before my eyes. 

another amazing thing happened, he didn't change his clothes the minute he got home

He got me out of the bench and I shared mine too. On the way home I told him how happy I was that he had a testimony. He said I didn't remember everything and I let him know I forget what I am going to say too, I get really nervous too! Heath can test our patience, when family home evening or scripture study don't go very smooth and I start to get frustrated Brant whispers "Brush strokes" to me. (Elder Bednar shared a story about brush strokes in General conference) Today on the way home when Brant whispered "Brush strokes" to me, I thought my heart would overflow! Little moments matter because he is growing from boy to Man! 

simulation  

We measure our kids on New Year's Day in a door frame. Brant's mom has a door frame with marks and dates for nearly everyone in the family. Every kid loves to see how much they have grown. Heath has surely gotten a lot taller this year already, some of that growth I only notice when his clothes get too small but today I noticed he is growing up in other ways too.

I have found that door ways are interesting places signifying coming and going. I have to admit there is spiritual door way where change is recorded and notches with little marks of noted significance. I can look back at moments in my life when a notch took place and I stood a little taller. I remember Jana before but because of experiences I'm not that Jana anymore. I have been a member of the church all of my life no dramatic changes that people notice. Most of changes people might not recognize but I think different, I feel different and I am different. I'm grateful for those notches but usually after the fact, nobody likes growing pains. I am so grateful for the atonement of Christ which makes change possible. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father who keeps providing opportunities for growth and measuring my growth not comparing to others. Someday, (hopefully after some more growth) I will grow up and out of this earth life. I know He holds the door open for our coming into His presence. The Church is true, I to have a testimony Heath, I love yours let's keep growing together!

True Jell-o

Real Mormons get excited over Jell-o-- Well we love our TRUeJillo's. It felt like Christmas when they arrived I thought I was going to cry happy tears I was so excited to see them. After Easter the Trujillo's were traveling home and were nice enough to make us their pit stop. I cannot adequately express how much this little family means to us.

It is a friendship story I really should record, so here goes. I don't think we had been in Rock Springs, WY for very long & we met them at a church function. Those Ward parties bring all kinds of people out ;) Anyway they invited Rianne to Kami's birthday party while Brant was traveling for work (I don't miss that travel schedule). I often ask in my prayers for help in doing what the Lord thinks is most important that day. So I went; I drove to this run down trailer, as I walked to the door I was so nervous. Kamille answered and was nice enough but I just couldn't leave my baby there with these people I didn't know, in such an unfamiliar environment. So Heath and I came in; I sat on the edge of the couch the whole time and was worried about leaving Heath on floor to play. I thought about all things I could be doing; anything to get me out of there. But the Lord wanted me there. Don't think I'm the most judgmental person in the world I was just WAY out of my element.
Here is the only picture I could find of thier old house (they have moved twice, but are still stuck in the Rock)  I think this was a daddy daughter date

We later had them over for a little March Madness action. We had a blast with all kinds of junk food. Little did I know Joey was craving a cigarette and well he was out of his element: payback! J There were no cigarettes at my house. When they went home Joey decided he "wanted his house to feel like the Browns'" if I have the story right that was the last day they smoked, Way to go guys!
Well that's how this friendship got started and somehow it turned into a very comfortable friendship! Kamille would always watch Heath for me (oh how he loved his "AMILL"). We shared pop in visits, backyard BBQ's and Kamille showed me how a Birthday should be celebrated all month! We had a lot of good times together

and their story gave me hope and strengthened my testimony so much. I watched a deep change happen. I have heard the stories of how low they had been but there is One who is mighty to save. I saw the atonement of Christ make a dramatic change in their lives. I like to think we were influences that helped foster that change but I know it was more than just us. What hope they gave me, how real the gospel in action became for me.
Since they ran away together they never had much of a wedding celebration. I threw them a Happily FOREVER after party when they made plans to be sealed in the temple.

Being there in the temple with them was an experience I will never forget. I can still picture Randy's huge grin, talk about a glow! Just picturing it brings tears to my eyes.

Well now their little stop brought more hope for me. They adopted and were able to return to the temple to have Bella sealed to them. Adoptions really happen, even if you already have kids.
This is their sweet addition with Ria.

Oh this sweet little girl brought so much hope to my heart!
I can't believe how they've grown. Cody and his "man voice" and Kam, kammers is as GORGEOUS as ever, with the longest legs. Even Randy was a real kid and his toothless grin is gone, he is still too hot to handle ;)

I am so impressed at how quick they are to acknowledge their blessings. I have always wanted my home to be inviting and comfortable. Thanks for stopping, hope you enjoyed lunch and the cream puffs! You guys are such an inspiration to us.

I hope Kamille brought back our love to the Wonderful people we love in Rock Springs.  Let me put out this plug we are the finest pit stop off Highway 89! If you come by and don't stop I'll be offended.

Egg Race

My mind has the ability to be everywhere all at once, unfortunately the rest of me is not so lucky but we had a fun RUN with Easter this year. We let the kids run in a fundraiser for the high school track team! They loved it! Rianne did the softball throw, standing board jump, 100 and 400 meter race. I saw her run the 100 she did great.

She thought she did the best in the jump but both Brant and I missed seeing her. I had to RUN over to the church to help with the fundraiser dinner for Young women's. Heath did the same events except the 400 was replaced by the 200. I did get to see him jump he did great!

Brant got to watch the races it is no surprise that Heath likes to run (Remember "killers" during basketball). Turns out he is pretty fast too. Here he is in the starting blocks or is it box?

In the 100 he ran right out of his shoe looked down but didn't stop running after he won, he said "dad my shoe" and he went back on the track to get it. 

 He also won the 200 by quite a bit but he didn't slow down. He was very excited about his first place ribbons  

Thursday after pack meeting on we were off and running for Kanab

On Friday's run was replaced by a hike to Saleratus.

Josh and Morgan helped us handle the rough terrain. Mikko and Kaleb provided entertainment and took some great photos (which I haven't seen yet ;).

Josh showed us how to run the "spider wall" and also redemption on the wall. Heath proved again he is FEARLESS. Brant actually held him over the "water fall" to wash his hands.

We saw a few lizards and had a few snacks it was a beautiful day. Kristi is the best not only were our guides for the hike her sons but she gave us haircuts dinner and got us started on the egg decorating. 

The Easter bunny came for Saturday morning,

I love that my kids searched for their empty egg and what color it was (we talked about what each color symbolized) Then we took Heath up to the park (can you believe Ria is too old L for an egg hunt. He took out a couple kids while running after eggs but was disappointed to only find 5.

After we got home he opened one and found that he had a slip of paper for a dollar, he is saving it because he knows grandpa was the one redeeming the dollars JWe decorated more eggs

So we can ROLL THEM! I love this tradition.

I got to ride out to the spot with Amanda, Jonathon, Jana (JC) and the kiddos (Sammie, Nellie, Daxton, and Grady) first time I got to meet Grady, super cute kid.

We got to run our tires in the sand a little bit more than everyone else J Can you believe I have been out there 9 times and still couldn't find it on my own (I have the worst sense of direction) I wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else knowing there are tough guys to get us unstuck! I enjoyed the little extra time. Here are the eggs running down the tracks. 

Heath spent most of his time at the bottom "catching eggs"?

That is not an egg Heath

He loved hangin' out with the boys. Josh is so good with the little guys

I love this picture of Heath hanging on him. Ria spent most of her time with the beautiful Brooklyn not that we caught her in a picture, she is Ria in 6 years

Then it is all fun and games until we run out of eggs the remaining pieces get golfed off, then the beatings occur, I told you Heath is fearless

I promise no one really got hit with the shovel but one did get sand in the face. They had Peyton posed so cute on a little rock then he fell face first into the sand and with the Brown family you don't brush it off you get a camera, he didn't even cry but what little boy doesn't love dirt?

After we got home we had time to Run out to the rock house for the Johnson Easter celebration Grandma & Grandpa J have been married 70 years! Wish I had snagged a picture of them but at least I got to squeeze em' Rianne loves babies and enjoyed Isa.

Isa is getting so big; every time I see her I just smile she is the cutest little stinker. Heath talks tough but I think he is intimidated by Tyler's muscles.

It was a quick visit, we decided we should Run back for stake conference so Easter morning we left with the kids in tears. We tried to explain that we love our family so much and we would love to stay there, so this man

 must be pretty important for us to leave so early in the morning. We were running late so I didn't get pictures of the kids in their Easter Sunday clothes.  Elder Nelson asked all the primary kids to stand and sing I am a child of God, Ria said I got to sing to an apostle. After the meeting we all got to shake hands with an apostle too! For me it was also cool to shake the hand of the Dr. who preformed my grandmas heart surgery (cool story, she had a near death experience). It was awesome!  How fitting that the Easter story involves Jesus' apostles and we got to hear from one! I love the story of them running to that tomb, how grateful I am for that empty tomb because He lives! His invitation to "come unto me" I will come running to him and he will give me breath!