BROWN with Love

Too Good

2012-01-16T22:42:00.002-07:00

Too good for them

I came to a realization over Christmas, as much as I hate to admit it I am THAT aunt. When my niece Stephanie made her engagement announcement and I thought “she is too good for him”. Then with the events (my sister’s X) and how Zack handled everything I realized I wasn’t giving him much credit.

I’ve had that thought lots of times with the Brown side of family. This should probably be an apology section for the ones where I actually expressed my skepticism on their motives and made critical remarks.

Sorry Lindsay, Jana, Shaye, Wade and Sara. I honestly had moments where I really thought you were not good enough, I was wrong.

Also to the others that while I can’t think of specific times I said or did anything I’m certain I thought it and if I did something I apologize. I thought it was just my need to protect them because they are so good, kind hearted and certainly I don’t want to see those traits taken advantage of. This is the reason I won’t ever set my best friend up with anyone I think she is too good for everyone I know. To my nieces and nephews of future relationships, I will probably still think it, but hopefully I’ll be nice. I think my nieces and nephews are too good for whoever they are with, I just love you guys so much but I will trust your judgment and support you. There will however still be ear squeezes. I realized had I been judged or held to the same standards I wouldn’t have been picked as good enough for Brant. Honestly, I still don’t feel good enough for him and still have feelings of inadequacy in being a Brown.

Too good to me

We took a quick trip over to Kanab and as usual it was fabulous. We enjoyed great conversation and food at Grandma Brown’s. They are so good to us and always make us feel so welcomed and they really warm our hearts and hands :)

Kristi and family took us hiking to the elephant’s trunk just north of Kanab, so much fun.

This is what I’m talking about who could possibly be good enough for this guy who took care of crazy Heath the entire hike.

No way anyone is good enough for this girl who would wash and rub her aunts old lady feet.

She painted my toes too!

We also got to witness Tyler wrestling and well he is too good it was awesome, Brant was actually yelling in the stands Tyler took first! Sorry he’s is too good too!

Yep it is official my nieces and nephews are just too good. So I’ll just accept my place as the scary overly protective aunt, my kids just happen to have the BEST cousins!

The weather has also been Too good not to go hiking. This was another hike we went on earlier. Annette has the good pictures ;) but it was a cool place here in Flagstaff, this place is too good.

For New Year's we did spend it with the Elson's

I’m not one for too much stock in new year’s resolutions. One thing I did change is our morning routine 2 chores in the morning before school, usually it is just one each. Heath is a competitive one and when Ria did 3. He was determined to show her up, so I came out to find him cleaning my stove. I'll take his fire if it keeps my house clean :)

This year is going to be too good!
May we always seek and recognize His hand.

WONDERful Christmas

2011-12-30T21:31:00.003-07:00

We decided to make the trip to Idaho for Christmas. I decided to wrap up little gifts for them to open after each stop if they didn’t fight and their area was clean. It worked and we had a good trip. The first night we stayed with our friends the Smith’s, always a good time and this is where I received a Wonder Woman snuggie. Here is wonder wo-MAN

I should have brought the snuggie with us when we met Natalie to look at the lights on temple square.

Our friendship bond really formed 13 years ago on a temple square lights trip.

Even if Heath thinks she's his Natalie I know she's mine and she took some amazing pictures.

We made it to Idaho but enjoyed my family so much.

Wrestling and messing with uncle Chad

and playing games with Goose.

Brant helped the kids make cookies for Santa, I love this picture of my mom looking up at Brant.

These are the Ninja Bread man according to Heath. He cracked me up this year when he brought home his graham cracker house from kindergarten I said, cool chimney, he said mom that is a cannon see how it is going to blow out that gummy bear. Crazy boy!

We left them out like this

Sure enough Santa shared his milk with Rudolf (turns it pink) but I forgot to get a picture.

This year Rianne joined Santa’s team. We had the Santa talk, She knew but in her words "just wanted to believe" I told her about why we use Santa as a symbol of Christmas and what a great way it is to teach kids about having faith. You come to him, he asks you to be good and he comes, bringing you just what he knows will make you happy. Eventually it develops into faith in Jesus Christ who asks us to be good, to come unto Him and pray for the desires of our hearts and if we have faith He does bring just what He knows we need and He does want us to be happy. He did come on that first Christmas and He will come again. Rianne was given the assignment of Heath’s sock

She was so excited to fill it with all the things she picked out and his reaction brought her so much joy. It was so great to have her come to deeper feelings for Christ, at this wonderful season.

We went to church with my parents, the speakers topics were on sharing our testimonies. I wondered why that would be the topic for Christmas Sunday, as they spoke it became clear of all the joy you can bring, nothing is better than the knowledge of our Savior and His plan and that was a perfect message for Christmas Sunday.

After my sister Cheri’s arrival we opened presents and we were all together again. This was my brother’s first Christmas without his wife, in my family we rotate families for gifts Scott had me, his wife knew she would not make it to Christmas but she made sure we had gifts. She is so thoughtful and gifts were personalized just for us.

It was also very cute when Rianne was about to open her present from Heath he wanted to be right there to see it, she was very excited about Pickles, hymn book and peanut butter, Heath did a good job getting just what she wanted.

Santa surprised her with boots and her greatest desire of her own pocket knife and she was so glad to add any assistance opening presents.

My niece Stephanie was also the Christmas hero saving Christmas day so we could see all of Cheri’s kids (little drama with the X). She was also wearing a pretty big rock! Congratulations on your engagement Murf and Zach.

Cheri’s family gave Chad’s family some sweet snuggies completing our WONDERful Christmas.

(Lumber)Jack of no trades…

2011-12-18T15:39:00.003-07:00

MASTER of something! Wahoo I am done. It is still a little surreal but it is official I have a Master’s degree! I took my last final the morning of graduation and depending on how I did, I could graduate with a 4.0! They estimate that only 16% of American’s have master’s degrees, it feels like quite an accomplishment. Especially when my kindergarten teacher told my parents “I was just one of those kids who wouldn’t learn to read”. Surprise I can read, thanks to an amazing 1st grade teacher who taught me a “Pig Can Jig”.

I should also mention my incredibly supportive husband was my tutor, editor and chief deserves a huge THANK YOU, I really couldn’t have done it without him.

He made me feel so good, expressing how proud he was of me!

I am aware of the sacrifices I made to accomplish this even when I doubted my abilities and when it seemed impossible but my kids made a lot of sacrifices too. School was time consuming; Brant had to edit a lot of papers. I thought psychometrics would do me in. They watched entirely too many movies as I prepared papers, exams, presentations, etc.

My brother also taught me to be grateful that the Lord didn’t give me natural smarts because I know who really gave me the ability, it is much easier to recognize His hand when I know it isn’t me! To illustrate this point, let me tell you about an experience. I had read all the material required, I couldn’t gather my thoughts I didn’t know how to write this paper and cover the material, which I didn’t agree with. I plead for help from my Heavenly Father. As I started to type, the words came and it was probably the fastest I have ever typed and I knew it wasn’t me when I read through it and nothing was underlined in red for spelling. I don’t think Brant suggested a single change to the paper either.

I have a testimony of Rocks. When I changed my program of study to, psychology, human relations, I felt good about the change but didn’t know if I could do it. I asked the Lord for help. As I read in the Book of Mormon about the Brother of Jared, I thought, "Were rocks really the best idea?" It was his idea and after all the work of preparing those rocks, the Lord reached out and touched those rocks to do more (best idea or not). I feel like each rock I have brought to him, He has touched.

Louie the Lumberjack graduated too!

While I am uncertain about what the future holds and finding work and yes, nervous about what to do now. I have no doubt that if I prepare righteous rocks He WILL touch them!

Tera and her kids even sat through graduation

I received so much help and support all along the way, from so many people, thank you!

Grateful to Grin and Bear it!

2011-11-27T15:21:00.004-07:00

I don’t like to be a whiner, but I have to make a conscious effort to be positive. (It doesn’t come naturally) I have debated this post so with that being said…
I have had a headache for 6 weeks, it is progressively getting worse and sudden movements send the pain shooting. It is localized at my right temple and worse in the evening and first thing in the morning. The doctor has diagnosed it as a migraine (as if the label helps, but the pain killers do).

I have not had one last this long for 20 years! I could stay here and continue the complaining and the list of remedies I have tried, doctor’s visits etc. My dad taught me (all of my siblings at one time or another) that you can be just as sick laying down as standing up. I think this sometimes carries me over to guilt for not doing as much, feeling like it is an excuse and not a reason, but for the most part life has gone on. There are days when I just want to cry because I can’t take it anymore and days that I come out swinging and fighting through it. I think you get the point of what I feel I am “bearing” so here are the things that are make me grin.
Gratitude

Prayer this month we made a goal in our family prayers to only express gratitude and not ask for anything this has been a fun change from the “vain repetitions” with prayers of gratitude Heath adds that he is grateful for elbows, that he isn’t in foster care, lunches mom packs, the ones that aren’t skimpy.

Thanksgiving it was wonderful to share it with family. I was so grateful that we were able to stay with McKay and have a place to escape with my head. The kids also had an absolute blast! One thing I love is that we get together and have our own Turkey Bowl, I was not about to miss football with the nieces and nephews!

I like making pie, although Heath was upset I didn’t make real pumpkin pie so I owe him.

Brant’s brother also set up a photo shoot area so we could update grandma & grandpa’s board. Look at all the fun we had!

Nate took this one!

grandpa and the granddaughters (that were there)

There was plenty of pie don’t you think! Ria sharing with her cousins she learned that dessert plate from her dad!

We also got to meet our 2 new beautiful nieces Tenley and Mirra.

Tenley with her mom

Mirra the mover with me.

Enjoyed the warm weather

Marlin with Heath Marlin

My baby sister also came over to visit which I LOVED! thanks for coming Goose!

I am so grateful for the gospel. We were able to welcome home Dalton and send off Josh when Dalton was hugging everyone and telling them they had gotten so big, I ‘m so glad he didn’t say that to me  I ‘m grateful for all the cousins and for their example to my son (someday all of this will be worth it)

Heres hoping Heath will grow a foot or 2 :)

Such a great family and a great weekend.

My sweet little family

If there is one thing this headache has taught me it is that this little boy

helps me grin every day I don’t think I could endure this without him! He is funny when he doesn’t know it, and not as funny when he’s trying.

The other day he said, “Mom, I think you should know if I live to be 100 years old I will never want peppers in my eggs.” When I grin at that he looks at me incredulously indicating he doesn’t want to have to tell me again. Here are some other moments that he has created so I can grin

“I like that I have soft ears, I just kinda wish you didn’t like them.”

“Belly buttons are cool, I just don’t get why boys have them.”

“I think it would be better for both of us if you took a nap.”

Then on the radio the other day a car dealership was indicating credit checks with “no headaches” so, of course, Rianne said, “no headaches?” Heath quickly said, “Mom you should go there today!”

Rianne and Brant have been wonderful to step up and help too! Doing laundry, dishes, dinner, I don’t think anyone has noticed it isn’t me getting it done. On top of all that Rianne also practices piano without being asked and keeps up on her homework, and takes care of Heath too! Brant patiently lets me try every cockamamie remedy that has been suggested! I have tried peppermint oil (which does dull), magnesium, B2, well all the B vitamins, tulsi tea, going completely alkaline (aka all veggies). Lots of water, breathing techniques, caffeine, a massage, chlorophyll, I have even walked outside with my bare feet to use the magnetic energy to “ground” myself. Not to mention the blood work and tests to figure it out. My chiropractor, who has been pulling out all kinds of tricks said “this is tormenting me” I answered back with “me too”.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Maybe I’m not grateful FOR my situation right now but I can be grateful IN it, and simply grin and bear it!

Photo Card

2011-11-25T12:04:00.001-07:00

Classic Blue Honors Graduation

Modern shower invitations and holiday cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Volleyball Sneezin'

2011-11-13T18:55:00.001-07:00

Volleyball season has come to an end I feel like I am still in a hole trying to dig out. This was my first season coaching freshman. It was a challenge, but I learned a lot! I think the girls did too! The advantage to coaching freshman is that you see the growth, but the growth was incredible to recognize from beginning to end. Some of the girls really came a long way! The head coach doesn’t make cuts at the freshman level which makes for a big team and by the end of the season a big space between the players development. I was amazed at how team oriented they were. Even though, because of the team being so big, the players would come to one game and then the next wouldn’t get to come, they didn’t seem to have the backbiting and drama that can occur with girls. Playing as a team is powerful in volleyball you can have phenomenal talent, but if they don’t come together on the court success is difficult. Team matters. Here they are on our Team Day practice.

My goal for the freshman team was that they would develop a love for the game and learn the fundamentals. About midway through the season during a game I looked out and they all seemed so scared to make a mistake, I thought they will never learn to love it if playing isn’t fun. I learned personally that playing your best doesn’t mean perfect.

I really don’t like refs; they stand up on their stand waiting, watching, and anticipating your mistakes, they have no vested interest in your success or your failure. I would much rather be a coach. Coaching is where you teach them the rules (correct principles) and then let them do it (govern themselves). You correct, motivate, and build up a player; you care about their success and it feels like a reflection on what you have done with them. This season I often wondered why am I coaching; it takes me away from my family, makes me take advantage of my friends (THANK YOU TERA), it pays next to nothing, but it is teaching, physically teaching, hands-on teaching, I love it. But all the time God is coaching me. One of my players is a hard worker, she works at everything I have ever given her. She is also a natural athlete, I gave her some things to visualize herself being successful with. She played such a good game (even though as a team we lost), I was so proud of her performance, how she kept her head up and was praising her and telling her how awesome she was, she looked at me “we lost, I made this mistake and that mistake. I stopped her and said, “You didn’t play perfect but you did play your best. You did everything I asked you to do. I expected big things and you met my expectations.” All I asked each individual player was that when you walked off the court win or lose you would be able to say you played your best. As she left the gym I was gathering my things, thinking, “This is why I love coaching.” Then my coach spoke, “Jana I too am not asking you to be perfect, just do your best, your best can change with the circumstances and it doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect. I am pleased that you are trying to do everything I asked, it is a team effort and although you can’t control others decisions and you will make mistakes, I sent my son and you are on His team, you will eventually win because you do your best. Keep your head up and you will be perfected in Him.” With tears in my eyes I felt His love.

Not all of them were there!

We had the year end awards ceremony. I forgot so much of what I was going to say but I hope my girls learned the difference between best and perfect. I hope they also learned that hitting is an extension of a throwing motion, blocking is a game of catch, serving is as simple as toss-step- hit, and ball first - body second. It doesn’t take talent to hustle it just means to run. And the TTTTEAm Sneeze. I hope they learned to not to turn one mistake into two and to always make the next ball better. I really appreciated the coaches I worked with, they taught me a lot. I enjoyed my assistant coach and what she brought to the season. coaching staff Rainbow

I hope they know volleyball is worth the effort. They were great girls and at the awards ceremony I gave volleyball ducks to the 2 most consistent players in each particular skill pass, set, block, hit. I gave my core players (crazy core skittles), during the season skittles were given for players who showed hustle skills. I made them necklaces with their awards that the team voted on I was hoping to present them like Hawaiian leis but it didn’t work out that way. They had their awards attached: top players and most improved in all the skills, serving, passing, hitting, blocking, and setting. Net worth for the players who always took down and set up nets. Practice perfect for the players who never missed a practice, Leadership awards, rotation and transition awards, fiber plus awards for paper eaters. Team player, mental toughness, positive attitude, hustle, energy, happy and even loud. For the most improved I gave them something to represent progression, we did for that skill, I also gave a large box of Honey Smacks to my cereal killer (the player who led the team in kills) Then we did 4 big awards, MVP, Rising star, most improved, Panther.

MVP award went to #6. Her goal was to always be hustling, She did that and was always happy to as well she is a great server, passer, setter and hitter thus she gets the MVP but it is also her leadership and attitude.

My 2 rising stars were #10 and # 14 they are both very positive and have come so far but are just budding as volleyball players. I think they have great potential to be a force to be reckoned with in the future. They have the work ethic and discipline to make that happen.

Most improved… #12 choosing this at the freshman level is a daunting task. I chose a player that this sport didn’t come naturally too, she studied rotations until she could tell everybody where they were supposed to be, she worked so hard to improve her serve and passing, she always encouraged others and from tryouts to today she has made the biggest gains in volleyball.

Panther… this player puts the team first even if it means sacrifice individually, early on in the season I asked her to do something, I never had to remind her and she did it consistently all season. It was noticed. She touched every line, went for every ball she takes responsibility serious and she plays with integrity. She worked just as hard during conditioning and fundamentals as she did in the game or scrimmages. She always played with integrity, super coachable. I wasn’t sure if I believed Vargas with this diamond in the rough but after this player I do! We really changed her to a risk server it was a hard transition she worked, cried and stuck with it, If you don’t know who our Panther player is you must not have been in our gym #17 I expect big thing for you! Thank you for your example, dedication and heart!

I do expect big things to come from these girls and hope they spend some more time adding to what they have gained. I am so grateful for the opportunity to coach! I only wish I had more pictures.

How Halloween Happens

2011-11-03T21:42:00.001-06:00

We did most of our celebrating around Rianne's birthday but I hope I never grow out of celebrating holidays. The holiday happenings are changing as my kids grow up.

We went out and enjoyed an autumn evening and carved some pumpkins and enjoyed some dinner. Can you believe Heath once wore this shirt?

Sunday was the only part of the happenings where we actually coordinated.

I made another attempt at bat wings and the Larsen’s were good sports.

Our costumes prove that my kids are growing up; they didn’t want to go with a theme for Halloween. Rianne was a Hippie with her friend Sydney.

Heath was Dash, and was upset that everyone called him, Mr. Incredible. (I told him it was because of his big muscles, he was not impressed).

I ended up being the leftovers in the costume box. At least Bishop and I happened to coordinate.

Maybe if we can get a baby I can convince the family into dressing with a theme again, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for next year. It was still a Happy Halloween.

Owl-ways my little girl

2011-10-29T15:12:00.004-06:00

It is hard to believe I have been a mother for a decade! My little girl turned 10! We celebrated when Brant got back from Alaska and we brought in Birthday treats (Root beer floats) for the October Birthdays, (Ria & Ginger)

Double digits seems like a big deal so, I decided to do a surprise party for her. My friend Robin helped me with the invitations.

We did a ghouls night out until 10pm. It was crazy but I think the girls had a blast. Preparing was a little tough with Brant gone and my best helper being kept in the dark!
Brant took Rianne out on a daddy daughter date because he missed her birthday. Then my friend Annette tied and glued bows to the party hats. When the girls got here we gave them their hats and glasses. When Brant sent me a text we all hurried into the Garage

When the garage door opened the witches flew to Rianne.

Then we came in for some Spooky eats.

We had witches brew, slimy snails, deathly dip, monster toes with blood dipping sauce, dipped eyeballs, spell spices, ogre ear wax, witches warts, bone bits, & Goblin guts. I forgot to get out the evil eyes (deviled eggs) and the mad scientist slime (Jell-O). The girls didn’t seem to notice.

Then Rianne opened her presents or I should say projects. She had to guess which witch brought the gift if she was wrong she ate an eyeball (gumball). She had a mouthful!

It was time for poisoned cake (may age you 10 years).

I should explain Rianne wanted a wagon wheel cake, but it didn’t really go with my theme so I had to make an owl cake. It is supposed to look like a 10!

Then I made a Halloween Clue game for the girls to play to find their goodie bags.

The girls who got the game had a good time for the others. I think it took a little too long but they did find their night owl bags. With sparkle spell books and a craft project to do.

We made night owl headbands which turned out really cute!

I don’t know what I would have done without Katie helping me with the glue guns. Well all my friends were a big help in pulling this off!

Then more games Monster Mash, spin the chicken-truth or dare, egors eye race, would you rather hands and feet.

At the end most of the girls were still bright eyed ha ha! It was a good time.

The 1st one really is the Guinea pig, she is a good sport I don’t know if I’ll ever do another birthday party like that but I hope she knows that we notice the sacrifices she makes and how much she does for our family, as we figure out this parenting thing.

Fitting end is a Rianne Top 10

10. Eats good food, she could have a V8 in lunch every day, she is also a great cook!

9. Loves little kids and is so good with them.

8. So creative, crafty and imaginative.

7. Optimistic

6. Go with the flow, so flexible!
5. She has the best laugh and is so quick to giggle.

4. Beautiful, responsible, smart, athletic

3. So thoughtful and kind, she is a great friend

2. Positive disposition

1. I love how self-assured she is.

No wonder we had such a great turnout for her party, WHOO doesn't love this girl!

For the past decade she has been teaching me so much I love being her mom!

While the cat's away...

2011-10-27T23:25:00.001-06:00

With Brant’s new position he only travels twice a year. He was in Alaska (if they would send him in June, I would totally tag along). So that crazy cat was doing this

and visiting Santa we had our own fun.

After the primary program, we headed out for Kanab. I was telling the kids we would just miss Dalton who would be returning from his mission, Heath responded with I’ve been missing him for 2 years. Some people expressed surprise that with my husband gone I would choose to spend a couple of days with my in-laws but from my previous post you know I had no problem with it. When I pulled up my eyes filled with tears and it had been tough without Brant but it felt so peaceful. My heart needed that quick trip.

We celebrated Josh and Rianne’s B-days. Grandpa and Heath played I laughed when Grandpa asked how long they would play the game they were playing and Heath answered with “until I win”.

The trip was a great way to break up Brant’s absence.

We missed Brant the kids reminded me daily that Brant does everything better, combing hair, packing lunches, helped with homework, the list goes on. I was getting frustrated with them and said “Dad isn’t perfect, you know” Rianne responded with “well pretty close”. Here he is taking out the trash-- Ha ha, he's so good.

I noticed too that the dishes I didn’t get to, didn’t get loaded and the laundry didn’t fold itself either. I’m not a good single mom. I told Heath I would come in and read to him, this is how I found him asleep.

I guess it is no wonder that while walking Heath to the bus I saw a car and moved Heath, he asked what I was doing I told him I would rather the car hit me and not him. he said “I would prefer that too”—Funny kid.

For the 2nd year in a row he missed Rianne’s B-day and the Primary program.

We survived 10 hectic days here she is at 10.

Burst of Inspiration

2011-10-01T22:36:00.002-06:00

I was asked to give a little 5 minute talk on the blessings of the temple before our relief society enrichment meeting. It really got me thinking. I thought about blessings be predicated on obedience and a temple recommend is issued if you can answer that you have been obedient. So does the temple really add to this, well yes because you are asked to do more and be obedient to the additional covenants you make. There you go; more blessings. Then I thought of my brother and how Satan works so hard to discourage him, and that the powers of discouragement are fought in the house of the Lord. And my other brother and his sealing how the barn froze and the power went out. Satan threw his own temper tantrum that day.

I have a picture of that day (just can't find it) Boise temple

I thought about miracles like our motorcycle wreck and the scrapes and bruises stopped at our Garments. I thought about my migraine headache and that pivotal trip I took to the temple to do baptisms. I knew of God’s power as it slowly left my body and as I left the temple it returned. I thought about moments of clarity like with adoption how if left to my own thought process I don’t think I would pursue it but the clarity that I felt in the temple confirmed that to me. How scared I was and the peace I felt when I saw Brant in the temple. I thought about my wedding day! I thought of the countless times I’ve fallen down, been scraped up only to return to the house to the loving arms of my mom with a band aid and a kiss. I still feel that, I just want to go home and He will make it all better and in those brief moments in the temple He does! And I’m ready to go back out. How the temple is always warm and the air always seems cold when you come out even in Mesa.

So there it was the temple described in two adjectives that normally don’t describe the same thing Peaceful and Powerful. So the obvious blessings of eternal families, that’s a big one. The personal blessings of personal revelation which has been instrumental in my own life. The protection, comfort, warmth and connection I feel with my Savior and loving Father in Heaven. The blessings of reassurance, every time I leave I want to be better but still feel good enough. That’s when it hit me; all of these women and their testimonies of the temple are at different places. I don’t know what I said but as I sat in the car before the meeting writing down my thoughts, I hope I shared something like this, I really did keep it to just a few minutes:

The best way to get to know somebody is to spend time in their home. I remember the first time I went to Brant’s house I didn’t open the fridge, or hug his mom and dad. I did notice a picture of the temple and I thought it was interesting that in southern Utah where every home has a picture of the St. George temple, here was the Idaho Falls.

As I got to know Brant better I felt more comfortable but it was still my friend’s house, I’d eat a cookie if it was offered. Then I went to Brant’s house as his girlfriend that was weird and a little more observant because I knew who they were and they knew who I was but we didn’t really know each other. I followed Brant around a little nervous of conversations with his family. I should tell you I was never uncomfortable but it wasn’t totally comfortable either.

Then I took on their name I was now a Brown so there home was my home, but I was content to observe the family interactions without getting too involved. I remember leaving and wondering how these people, who were so good, didn’t make me feel like I wasn’t, but made me want to be better. Their 'Go and Do' attitude was amazing to me. Then we moved our little family into their home.

Their home was now my home, they welcomed back their son and granddaughter and that included my welcome too. I became really sick, and I was scared and it took a while for us to figure out what was going on. Brant’s mother spent countless hours taking care of Rianne and me. It is all a little foggy to me but I was weak, really weak and I remember knowing I needed to take her upstairs to give her something to eat but I was too weak I didn’t know what I would do, then here came Brant’s mom who told me to lay down she fed Rianne while I slept then brought me down something to eat. I remember feeling so loved, so cared for, and so much gratitude. I was making no contribution, but she just loved me, when I got healthier their home was the only place I wanted to be. Brant's parents became our best friends. I know not many people feel this way about their mother-in-law, but I could live next door to her. I can go to their house with complete comfort, I open the fridge, talk at ease with them, I look forward to every visit, and love their hugs. I cry each time we leave.

For me there is a great parallel: the more we go to the temple the more comfortable we become, His home becomes our home as we recognize that He has taken us in and when we are weak he made that decent below all things to strengthen us. The temple becomes a place we long for, it lifts us to be better than we are. And we ache when leave. The blessings of the temple come as it becomes something we need, something we recognize and cherish. I receive so many blessings from being a Brown, far more than I am worthy of. I am a daughter of God. He loves me and I receive great blessings by being His.

6 in the mix

2011-09-25T19:13:00.001-06:00

Well as crazy and mixed up as life is my kids keep growing up and now my little man is a six! On Saturday we let him take his friend Cooper out for Pizza, it was a good time, and Heath had some skills on Space ship game and scored some prizes. Heath likes a schedule and to know exactly what to expect. We have been working on being flexible and he did a good job just going with the flow that day.

Then on Sunday we had cake and ice cream. Heath wanted a guitar cake that said Heath Rocks! Not my best work but he enjoyed it.

As you can see his birthday revolves around food. After breakfast I told him to brush his teeth, he said but mom today is my birthday I don't have to do anything I don't want to, I shook my head and said Brush your teeth!

This boy can eat and I think he could have 6 meals a day, I’m nervous for when he’s a teenager.

On his actual birthday Monday we took birthday treats in to the school, peanut butter balls then for Family home evening we had his spotlight and gave him, his gift a race track, he was thrilled!

Heath is very independent, he is problem solver, He is a different thinker but so smart. I love the bond he and Ria share, even if it does make him come up with a “kid’s cave”. That’s right my 6 year old has man brain here they are in the cave.

60's for 80th

2011-09-18T22:29:00.000-06:00

This year for the Brown Family Reunion we had an 80th Birthday party for Grandpa Brown. Natalie was in charge and she did a fantastic job, tough act for us to follow (We will be in charge next year with no major theme to plan around :).

For me waiting for this weekend was like Christmas we had two great nephews we had to meet and I was just so excited to see everyone. We started things off at the pool, Rianne said “I think there is more people here than usual”, I had to remind her that it was just our family.

Brown family synchronized swimming

I was really hoping to get to 80 for Grandpa’s 80th but 79 will have to do, if Brady gets engaged to Andie, he brought a girl to the family reunion. Then I’ll count it!

impromptu fireside Brady & Andie :)

Heath drying out

Then it was time for Lunch, Party hats and Grandpa Facts. We won Family Feud style Marlin Brown game. I was very impressed with how much Rianne knew about grandpa!

Next we headed over to Moccasin for Games, Dinner and the Program. It was nice to have it all in one place and really just our family, well except for a few kids from moccasin trying to figure out why so many people were at the park ;).

Traj doesn't seem too sure about these cousins

We split up into groups and played some games,

Grandpa teaching Heath some Marbles skills

then we had some Dinner, We took a big group shot but don’t have a copy of that, yet.

but here are my 2 new great nephews

MAC is a handsome happy boy with very soft ears!

Bridger Boy Brant loves babies he also has soft ears, just not as soft as his uncle Caiden!

We got ready for the program, each family was given a decade of Grandpa’s life we got the 60’s and yes, Dallin the Bumpit did change my life. Everybody did an amazing job we were impressed with Caiden and his grandpa look! We sang Yesterday by the Beatles but it was interrupted by 2 kids singing Wild Thing to grandpa! I wish we got some pictures of Heath and Rianne, (if someone did I want them). The only problem was we forgot the glasses Brant was going to wear, good thing Zach helped us out.

I have already been told the 60’s look fits me, but they didn’t have spell check so I’m not sure that would have worked out for me. Someone already referred to me as the lady in Billy Madison who blows her kids nose, you know the scene.

We had so much fun, It was over too fast! I love being a Brown! Happy Birthday Grandpa and as my kids tell him often you’re not old until your 90, so you’ve got some livin’ to do!

Big Burger Birthday Bash

2011-08-28T09:45:00.001-06:00

Big Brown Bear Brant wanted to BBQ for his Birthday. So this post is brought to you by the letter B

That’s right Big B had his birthday. Heath was very excited to give dad a gift he picked out (wii game). Can you believe he was more excited than Brant?

We put on quite a spread for him to make some deluxe Cheese burgers! His favorite had Guacamole &bacon. I liked the Denver with ham & eggs. It was a fun little BBQ.

As if everybody hadn’t had enough cheese burgers, we had to have cake!

Don’t forget the party games. A little red rover I don’t think they ever sent Brant over ;)

Brant you are the BEST! Hope you had a Blast at you Birthday Burgers BBQ Bash!

Too cool for school

2011-08-21T14:50:00.000-06:00

Well here they are the first day of school.

Heath is in kindergarten, when I asked him how it went he responded with “Grandpa Jeff was right it was actually pretty lame”. He was really upset when he thought they were taking his stuff when they got his supplies out of his backpack, he didn’t know it was still his and he would just keep it at school. And he did NOT want to leave his water bottle at his desk all night. Once we explained it and found a water bottle he could feel comfortable leaving and he was much better.

The next day he was a little upset that “all day all we learned were rules”. He is doing much better now as he has settled into a routine, he still complains about standing in lines all day but for the most part he is glad to go and glad to come home. At the open house his teacher described him as independent, and that he is! Rianne is now in 4th grade she loves school. Here she is on the 4th day of 4th grade. She is so good to watch out for Heath and worries over him like a mom!

The best thing about school starting was it meant our good friends the Udall’s are back! Rianne has waited all summer to give Hailey this shirt.

It is a reminder of good times they shared screaming for ice cream. Funny girls, we only wish they could have found a place to rent that put them in the same school.

Summer full of Suprises

2011-08-14T22:50:00.001-06:00

I have to admit after Brant’s interview at NAU I wasn’t so sure about Flagstaff as we drove through the reservation on our way to find a rental I thought what are we doing? I was still apprehensive but I went to a play group with these women who I now don’t know how to live without; seriously I miss them if I don’t see them during the week. I love our ward, we have great friends, it is beautiful here Flagstaff has pleasantly surprised me. We have offically been here 2 years. Tera has been all over surprise birthday parties, she threw one for Isaac and for me. So we were pretty happy she didn’t see this coming SURPRISE Tera!

I’m coaching volleyball again maybe not a big surprise, but coaching freshman. I think these girls were freshman when I started coaching. Surprise I now have girls I coached, and some are coaching some are married some are mom’s.

We were also excited to meet a new sweet niece Jenica

We took the kids to Grandma and Grandpa Brown’s while I had volleyball 2-a-days. Heath can focus and work (surprise, suprise)

While they were there we worked on a surprise for the kids.

I didn’t miss them, well not too much which I actually suprised me and I feel a little guilty about. I was busy, but I loved having all week with Brant. It was a week where we felt like we were dating again it felt strange at first to have each other’s undivided attention. We laughed, talked, worked on the surprise, we just enjoyed the time we had with just us. It wasn’t like we did anything all that different or exciting it was just the break from being mom and dad. I love how we keep falling in love.

Camping with Boys

Here is another surprise for you we voluntarily went camping, Don’t be too surprised I told you we really like our friends and flagstaff! We had to keep the kids out of their rooms and although we had a few surprises on route to our camping spot. We made it!

Brant was rolling this log all by himself but by the time I got my camera more lumberjacks joined in

The log provided adequate seating around the fire.

This is hunting expedition caught a wild animal, surprisingly likes marshmallows

Maybe we should invest in more camping gear? It is no surprise if you can get him to hold still long enough he will fall asleep!

We took these dirty kids home for their surprises

Heath was more amazed that we moved his bed than the desk, but Rianne was very excited, she has wanted her own desk for a very long time.

I guess because we now have both kids in school and desks it is no surprise that summer is officially coming to an end :(

I captured this Perfect picture of summer, in Kanab, tree swing and backyard baseball with Grandpa Brown.

Push along

2011-07-31T21:53:00.000-06:00

On our way back from the funeral we got to visit our ‘twin family’ the Smith’s. We spent the 24th of July (pioneer day) with them before we headed back home.

Here are the girls 4 months apart

Here are the boys 9 days apart

Lucky for Heath pioneer leg wrestling event went the wrong way for Kinin.

Race to Zion we got their just in time to catch Heath’s age group he recovered from a slow start.

We enjoyed a small town holiday with games at the park; water slides in the back yard and of course the fireworks. We are just sad we missed the B-ball tournament (If we had only known Brandon was in the same town)
We sure love those Smith/Brown reunions wish they could be longer but thanks for the food and great entertainment!
I always need the pioneer reminder of sacrifices made, I guess I can keep putting my shoulder to the wheel and pushing along!

Maybe life is fair

2011-07-28T20:33:00.001-06:00

So the last day of girls camp the unwanted but expected call came early that morning that my sister-in-law had lost the battle with cancer. I have thought about blogging this but emotionally I just haven’t been ready and since I like to do things in chronological order I just haven’t blogged.

Sindy turned 45 in June and passed away the day before Joseph’s (her son) 13th birthday. July 16th . We made arrangements and left Sunday for Boise, we did break up the 14 hour trip with a pit stop at Natalie’s house. When we got to Boise we met up with my other siblings at the hotel and then headed over to Scott’s. I helped Salina (my niece) pick out one of her mom’s dresses to wear to the funeral. The funeral was interesting. Sindy’s family is from Taiwan and not only was the funeral culturally different but religious views were different as well. I was so impressed with my brother and what a rock he was. My dad is not an emotional or affectionate guy. I think at Scott and Sindy’s wedding he didn’t even hug Scott just shook his hand. When he came into the viewing he was just racked with sobs. That precious embrace between him and Scott was when I really lost it too. Brant gave the eulogy that my mom, Scott, and Sindy’s sisters wrote. He did a great job. Then a recently returned missionary gave a talk in Chinese for Sindy’s family about some of our religious beliefs. As far as I could tell it was also very well done. Afterward there was a nice lunch provided by Scott’s incredible ward. On the tables were origami birds made by Sindy. She wanted to do something to help with the funeral so she seriously made hundreds of these while in stage 4 cancer.

Then as a family we met at the park and just relaxed. I really enjoyed our time together

1 side is my little sister Susan, my brother Chad, My brother Scott, other side is My mom my sister Cheri and me

Then we made the drive over to Blackfoot and the next day we had a burial in Pocatello.

My family

Salina, Scott & Joseph

That is what we did. The emotions that go with it and what we felt are a different story. My brother Scott is a take it apart, fix it, put it back together kind of guy. He struggles with mundane tasks, he is not expressive, he is logical not emotional. Sindy ran their home with precision. They are a great match. With the news of the experimental treatments not working and Sindy’s weight dropping below 100 lbs Sindy was given 6-8 weeks. She made it to the 6 week mark. I thought of my brother: his limitations, his kids, and everything he would have to face alone and I pled with my Heavenly Father, “he can’t do this, it is too much to ask.” In my pleadings I felt that it just wasn’t fair. My heart ached for him and his young family. All we could do was pray, Scott and I had really feeling conversations more than we have ever had before and I was blown away by his strength and his testimony of the Savior. Then it hit me, ‘Life is Fair.’

Sometimes my kids say, “That’s not fair.” There I was on my knees saying the same thing and God answered with the same response I tell my kids, “fair doesn’t mean equal, it means everybody gets what they need and we all have different needs.” This is what Scott needs to make weak things become strong. God will not ask him to do it alone. And talk about strong! Scott was stronger than I knew, but God knew it and it has been incredible to watch him develop his ability to express his emotions. Heavenly Father knows my brother and just what he needs. He knew how to develop in him what we only thought was a limitation. He provides the perfect balance giving just enough to build up, but it is a fine line between build up and breakdown. It certainly wasn’t what he WANTED but it is what he NEEDED. This was an experience only God’s hand could work out. I was overwhelmed with the love God has for my brother, with the love of our family and how we came together.

This trip was hard not just because of the 30 hours in the car but the resources it took too.

I went on faith not knowing how exactly we would cover it, financially. Only to return home and chip my tooth, which required a crown and then some car problems and I thought, about Scott and his strength, God could give me a life of ease he has the power to fix everything but he loves me and that wouldn’t be fair. When Brant and I were expressing our frustrations with some of life’s complications we talked about how much God loves us and he will help us through this even in trials. Brant said it best with a, “I’m feelin’ the love!”

How grateful I am to know that we continue beyond this life, that we have a Redeemer and a loving Father in Heaven who knows what we NEED. It isn’t what I want but this life is fair.

Girls camp

2011-07-25T14:09:00.026-06:00

I think the best calling in the church is teenage Sunday school. I enjoy teaching, I love the gospel. Before girls camp I had a very cool experience where I got some divine help in preparing a lesson on repentance.

I felt my father in heaven’s love for those girls as I prepared and as I was teaching.

Girls camp on the other hand was my own fears came to the surface, I was in panic mode before I left my hands were shaky and I thought I can’t do this. I felt frozen with fear. The thought came to ask Brant for a blessing. But he was already at work and I’d have to drive all the way into town. As I talked to one of my friends (Jenny) suggested I ask for a blessing, that reassurance gave me the courage to ask. I did and Brant was more than willing. I instantly felt peace at his hands and I felt my heavenly father’s love for me.

I actually really enjoyed girls camp, the leaders I serve with are awesome and our youth leaders were amazing!

It also helped that it was just our ward.

My ear fetish was found out as I couldn’t resist President Rice’s. It really was so much fun and a therapeutic emotional rerun!

Although change is coming I feel like girl’s camp was an experience I needed.

little game of pick you leaders nose :)

I also think we have an amazing bishop I had to come home and take a psychometrics test one of the days. Bishop told me I would be blessed for coming to girl’s camp that I would receive help on my test. I’ve learned if bishop makes a promise you can take it to the bank because MIRACULOUSLY I got an A in that class and everyone was really nice to me at camp thanks girls and sister Thom who went way out of her way to love me through the week!

I cry for the 4th of July

2011-07-12T08:08:00.031-06:00

What is more American, than a small town 4th of July? I’m not going to sugar coat this, I wanted to go to kanab for the 4th I love a small town independence day! I love the red hills echo of the fireworks! I love the activities at the park, the parade and of course Family. I really missed seeing family! Under the circumstances we stayed in Flagstaff and you know me I can’t help but celebrate a holiday.
Ria and I had festive feet.

We went to the park but I nearly broke down to cry when we were the only ones there, we made the best of it! Brant is always good to do that!

We had to have a backyard water fight right? Brant started it!

But I think he was the most soaked by the end.

With the fire ban we didn’t even have fireworks, :( I think I would have been crushed if it weren’t for BBQ’s with friends!

We also had some friends from Wyoming who heard about the finest pit stop on Hwy 89!!! Shalon and her kids came and stayed for a night! We were supposed to have our adoption home study that day and it didn’t work out I was so bummed but it turned out to be perfect timing I really needed and enjoyed their visit, and the house was clean :). The girls picked up where they left off and giggled the night away.

Shalon helped me gain some perspective on a situation she has been through and my brother is facing. Of course Lachlan found some fun with our Big daddy bear!

Oh what do you do in the summer time?

2011-07-11T17:30:00.001-06:00

I thought I better do a summer update because it is almost over :(

He has been asking to do this for his Birthday!

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when all their schools are out?

Do they fight and scream, and use shaving cream, as they tell their teachers good bye?

This is woman who put it all of this together!

As always Tera cleaning up the mess :)

The Best 3rd grade Teacher ever!

Is that what they’ve done? So have mine!

Tessa and Annette at her shower

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when now is the time to play?

Wendy Wednesday!

Do you take a swing at T-ball, or smack a volleyball or saddle and ride a horse

Is that what we’ve done, of course!

Cave's Crater

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, with all the flagstaff trees?

Do you hike in the hills, or take a bike on two wheels, or try to do stats as the days pass by?

If not, why have I?

Psychometrics in the summertime is Psychotic! Not that there is EVER a good time for it!

Officially a Trekies

2011-06-30T21:09:00.001-06:00

I’ve never been a big Star Trek fan but I am now officially a big fan of the pioneer trek.

For anyone unfamiliar with Mormon culture. It was a reenactment of the trek made from Iowa City to Salt Lake City by some of the early members of the church. Many Latter Day Saints were poor and from other countries. In order for them to make it they literally pulled their own handcart (like a small covered wagon) for hundreds of days and over a thousand miles.

you'll see who had the camera most of the trek!

Each “family” would be assigned to pull their hand cart for a 4 day trip as a tribute to those who made that sacrifice. Brant and I were asked to go on the pioneer trek as adult children, which meant we weren’t in the same family. Brant was excited, I was nervous. As the time got closer I got excited and Brant got nervous! I knew my role was to let the kids have their own experience. Brant thought he was just there to pull the handcart I don’t think I ever saw him NOT in yoke pulling. He was like a kid a big though and a fun kid too.

Brant's Family

We showed up sporting our pioneer fashions, found our families and met our brothers and sisters and Ma’s and Pa’s! We were anxious and excited to head out and as we got going we realized some disadvantages to being the last cart. We ate a lot of DUST. Every time someone ahead of us stopped we stopped. Brant’s family was the handcart in front of ours. We got to a rough hill but having watched how the other carts did it, and what worked best we handled it with precision. I thought this is what it is all about; learning from the people who had gone before, who have figured out the rough terrain of life. But there was more trail up ahead still.

The next tribute happened when the battalion came in and took the men to war and created the “women’s pull” experience which was done in silence and the boys watched as we “women only” pulled our families cart up a steep hill. I was overwhelmed at the true spirit of sisterhood, women dropped their carts and began helping others only to run back down and get another cart until all the carts had reached the top. My legs were burning, it was a tough pull, but as I saw Brant I was determined to have my head high, I didn’t want him to see me struggle I wanted to be strong because I knew it was difficult for him to not be able to jump in and help. I made it to the top turned around and with shaky legs ran back down and pulled with other women another cart up that steep hill. After we found our families again we sat in silence, I was sick so I had some water and a few nuts and that really helped but our boys didn’t want the girls to get in a pull any more after that.

Brant’s experience with the women’s pull is different from mine…this is Brant typing now. Watching the women pull was the hardest thing we had to do during the trek. I just wanted to help them and felt helpless. It was awesome to see how strong all these women are though and especially how strong Jana was. They are so strong and they need to be respected for their strength. It was also neat to see how the sisters were angels to one another in the service that they provided to help each other up that hill. The sisters do that all the time not just for each other. They are always helping one another, they are so much better about that than we men. Some of the leaders had also taken the opportunity to talk with the boys and men about young women and how it is our responsibility to protect and respect them and protect their virtue. I thought that was a very important message for all the boys on the trek, but I also found that this experience increased my own level of respect for womanhood.

I hope I learned to keep my head up, there are some hard things I’ve been asked to do but I can do it, and I never have to do it alone. We had more trail ahead!

We walked into the night and pushed and pulled through the tiredness. I know it was only 16 miles and it only seemed like 45 minutes (an inside joke for trekies)! But we were pushed to the point that you started to ask, “Why am I here? Is getting there even worth it?” My naturally negative thoughts came creeping in then something happened I noticed the exhaustion did different things to different people. Some wanted to push through harder and faster (we passed a lot of carts with our determined drive). Then only a few of our girls started to get sick, others started to be a little whiney. Something in me snapped and I thought, “You knew you were coming for the pioneer experience, you seemed so happy and capable, is this what you want to be known for? Your influence will be someone’s memory about trek, and you can choose to arrive miserable or happy.” I can’t choose the camping spot but I can decide to have “joy in the journey”. Suddenly the sky was beautiful with the trees and the stars and I was able to get in and pull: I was determined. Our boys were strong, one even got out and puked several times only to get back in without complaint. I was impressed to think that those are the people I want pulling with me. Our girls were good too. When we are pushed our true colors do come out. We made camp for the night, but there was still more trail ahead…

most of my brother's and sisters are behind me.

Along the way they had remembering moments, When they told the story of the brother’s 11 and 5 and the 11 year old carried the five year old on his back and died of exhaustion. I know Rianne would have done that for Heath. We also talked about momentum how you need to be in motion when you get to that hill and keep pushing up, life is the same way we have to keep our movement with the everyday scriptures, prayers etc. so that when the trail gets rough we can make it through it. We traveled not as far to our next camp, and had our Saturday, I shot a gun I even hit a card! Got my hair washed, and did some “dancing” with Brant. I really enjoyed watching him in this setting, he really got in and loved his family he was so relaxed. It made us wish for more simplicity in life. After about the 5th bag of jerky one of our girls asked if the pioneers even had jerky, that was pretty funny. My family was a lot of fun with Baby Brady keeping us laughing and Ethan keeping us guessing! and the beautiful claire even ate a deep fried beatle, yum.

my future sister-in-law Trek style

The next day was Sunday on the trail (which was also my birthday) I didn’t want a lot of fan fair because I felt like this experience was for the kids, We went to our “Sunday school” Brant made me feel very special. During the quiet time of the day he wrote me a sweet letter, without me knowing he asked my pa for my hand (now that I’m of age). Then his family came over sang happy birthday to me and he got down on one knee and asked if I would be his wife. So maybe in four years we’ll have a family of our own ;) I fell in love with him again (I keep doing that:). We had sacrament meeting in the evening it was very spiritual. Then my brothers and sisters shared their stories of who they were walking in remembrance of, I kept thinking of Ester Brown, who was rescued by her husband Gurnsey Brown. I thought about how many time Brant has been my rescuer. That night I also went to visit Brant for a minute, well when I was coming back I couldn’t find my family my flashlight was getting dim and the lantern at our camp was not on. I was getting worried, luckily I had some other rescuers who got me back to camp. It was a wonderful birthday, but I don’t think cornmeal mush will be a request for breakfast anytime soon!

with my Ma & Pa Palmer

The next day we packed up for our Journey to Zion. We were determined to be close to the front we didn’t get their first, although we got blamed for this (Brant’s family actually did it) it was funny.

Isn't that always the way you are doing your best and people try to hold you back!

I know this experience was for the kids involved but it turned out to be very personal self-discovery experience for me. I learned that handcart companies made up only 10% of the pioneers who traveled to the valley. I found that interesting 10% something to think about huh? We experience miracles when we are giving our best, although our experience was a simulation we experienced miracles too, the wind calmed, received increased strength and more.

I'll add more pictures if/when I get them, I could just sum it up with this:

People from the past can teach us, keep your head up you are stronger than you think, have joy in the journey. You may not choose your family, we are here to enhance the experience. Surround yourself with people who will help push or pull you to your goal, Live so your memories bring you happiness, the blisters and bruises will heal. It is but a small moment but if thou endure it well. We have a heavenly father who knows and loves us. This life is a journey is one of self-discovery and there is more trail ahead.

Fabulous Fathers

2011-06-27T10:03:00.000-06:00

We have church early and Heath was really being a terror, maybe he is always like that but Brant is the one who usually gets him up and ready. We did make him a breakfast.

YUMMY

But with trying to give Brant a break we were late for church.

Heath deemed dad as “Ruler of the Day”, for him to give over control is pretty impressive ;)

He decided around mother’s day that his own tool box would be perfect for dad on father’s day and couldn’t wait to give it to him! I love his face in this picture!

I know my kids love their dad so much. (dad day kids) but probably have no idea how lucky they are! Rianne is such a daddy's girl and is always making him something or writing him notes. She made him a little frame for father's day!

I try to have them do some quick pick up before dad gets home from work and it is some signal for excitement in our home because they are checking every five seconds for his car, Brant is usually hugged before he even gets through the door. These everyday daddy moments are therapy to me!

Brant is the one they can’t wait to tell him some event of their day, the one they call for when they are sick, the first one they ask to play a game with. My kids think Dad can fix anything (except a tape measurer) that he knows everything, He is certainly the most patient! I accept the fact that he is the fun one!

Teaching Heath to ride without training wheels

I love him as my husband, and seeing him as the amazing dad he is makes me love him even more!

Here are Four Fabulous fathers who you rarely see without one of their kids! We had them over for a Lasagna dinner and Pie!

you are SEW a good Mom!

2011-05-15T23:10:00.000-06:00

People say things like “you are a good mom” and that is nice. I’m not a bad mom, I’m not a good mom but I have good kids.

Rianne did my hair for mother’s day and Heath made me eggs (after he said “make me some eggs already”)

Sometimes these two really do make me proud, they also give me the title of Mom which I am grateful for.

They are thoughtful see they gave me a sleeping bag so I wouldn’t get cold on trek.

Somehow what your children do becomes a reflection of what kind of mom you are. My kids do some praise worthy things, and some not so good things. Either way I think it is generally in spite of their mother not because she is “good” or not. Truthfully I do love my children very much but I am selfish. I lose my patience with insignificant things, like when they don’t take their plates to the sink.

I know some mom’s who I admire. They feel the same reflection as a gauge to their description of what kind of mom they are. The problem with this is they are incredible but they have extremely challenging kids. They are patient EVERYDAY they celebrate personal victories when it is just that the amount of meltdowns this week went down. They recognize and are grateful for things I take for granted in fact I may not even notice. I’m not just talking about once in a while I am saying they consistently do this day in and day out with little or no praise. I wouldn’t want to change places with them but I want to be that kind of GOOD as a mom.

Motherhood wears me thin even with my good kids and the amazing support system I have. I just can’t cover everything. I always have a pile of mending that needs to be done from holes my weaknesses leave. Figuratively and literally. I have a mother-in-law who has patched us up figuratively and literally. Check out this patch job for Rianne with that personal touch! Thanks grandma Brown for ALL the patch jobs!

Signs of Growth

2011-05-01T16:32:00.002-06:00

I knew today would be special Heath came into our room at 6:00am dressed for church. That NEVER happens! He must have had something important to do; for the first time, Heath shared his testimony in church. He has talked about doing it before, but has never gone up. I never go up with them, when they are ready they do it. He said mom I'm going to today I said ok what are you going to say? He told me that Jesus makes his tummy feel better when he says sorry, that he likes the scriptures Dad reads to him. I said well when this person is done you can go up he sat on the side of me and when it was his turn I said ok you can go up now. Without hesitation he took off to the microphone and got scared at first he just breathed into it but finally he said "I'd like to bare his testimony, I know the church is true" I love the scriptures and I like when my dad reads them to me" then he thought a little more and closed.

He seemed to grow before my eyes.

another amazing thing happened, he didn't change his clothes the minute he got home

He got me out of the bench and I shared mine too. On the way home I told him how happy I was that he had a testimony. He said I didn't remember everything and I let him know I forget what I am going to say too, I get really nervous too! Heath can test our patience, when family home evening or scripture study don't go very smooth and I start to get frustrated Brant whispers "Brush strokes" to me. (Elder Bednar shared a story about brush strokes in General conference) Today on the way home when Brant whispered "Brush strokes" to me, I thought my heart would overflow! Little moments matter because he is growing from boy to Man!

simulation

We measure our kids on New Year's Day in a door frame. Brant's mom has a door frame with marks and dates for nearly everyone in the family. Every kid loves to see how much they have grown. Heath has surely gotten a lot taller this year already, some of that growth I only notice when his clothes get too small but today I noticed he is growing up in other ways too.

I have found that door ways are interesting places signifying coming and going. I have to admit there is spiritual door way where change is recorded and notches with little marks of noted significance. I can look back at moments in my life when a notch took place and I stood a little taller. I remember Jana before but because of experiences I'm not that Jana anymore. I have been a member of the church all of my life no dramatic changes that people notice. Most of changes people might not recognize but I think different, I feel different and I am different. I'm grateful for those notches but usually after the fact, nobody likes growing pains. I am so grateful for the atonement of Christ which makes change possible. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father who keeps providing opportunities for growth and measuring my growth not comparing to others. Someday, (hopefully after some more growth) I will grow up and out of this earth life. I know He holds the door open for our coming into His presence. The Church is true, I to have a testimony Heath, I love yours let's keep growing together!

True Jell-o

2011-04-30T21:11:00.003-06:00

Real Mormons get excited over Jell-o-- Well we love our TRUeJillo's. It felt like Christmas when they arrived I thought I was going to cry happy tears I was so excited to see them. After Easter the Trujillo's were traveling home and were nice enough to make us their pit stop. I cannot adequately express how much this little family means to us.

It is a friendship story I really should record, so here goes. I don't think we had been in Rock Springs, WY for very long & we met them at a church function. Those Ward parties bring all kinds of people out ;) Anyway they invited Rianne to Kami's birthday party while Brant was traveling for work (I don't miss that travel schedule). I often ask in my prayers for help in doing what the Lord thinks is most important that day. So I went; I drove to this run down trailer, as I walked to the door I was so nervous. Kamille answered and was nice enough but I just couldn't leave my baby there with these people I didn't know, in such an unfamiliar environment. So Heath and I came in; I sat on the edge of the couch the whole time and was worried about leaving Heath on floor to play. I thought about all things I could be doing; anything to get me out of there. But the Lord wanted me there. Don't think I'm the most judgmental person in the world I was just WAY out of my element.
Here is the only picture I could find of thier old house (they have moved twice, but are still stuck in the Rock) I think this was a daddy daughter date

We later had them over for a little March Madness action. We had a blast with all kinds of junk food. Little did I know Joey was craving a cigarette and well he was out of his element: payback! J There were no cigarettes at my house. When they went home Joey decided he "wanted his house to feel like the Browns'" if I have the story right that was the last day they smoked, Way to go guys!
Well that's how this friendship got started and somehow it turned into a very comfortable friendship! Kamille would always watch Heath for me (oh how he loved his "AMILL"). We shared pop in visits, backyard BBQ's and Kamille showed me how a Birthday should be celebrated all month! We had a lot of good times together

and their story gave me hope and strengthened my testimony so much. I watched a deep change happen. I have heard the stories of how low they had been but there is One who is mighty to save. I saw the atonement of Christ make a dramatic change in their lives. I like to think we were influences that helped foster that change but I know it was more than just us. What hope they gave me, how real the gospel in action became for me.
Since they ran away together they never had much of a wedding celebration. I threw them a Happily FOREVER after party when they made plans to be sealed in the temple.

Being there in the temple with them was an experience I will never forget. I can still picture Randy's huge grin, talk about a glow! Just picturing it brings tears to my eyes.

Well now their little stop brought more hope for me. They adopted and were able to return to the temple to have Bella sealed to them. Adoptions really happen, even if you already have kids.
This is their sweet addition with Ria.

Oh this sweet little girl brought so much hope to my heart!
I can't believe how they've grown. Cody and his "man voice" and Kam, kammers is as GORGEOUS as ever, with the longest legs. Even Randy was a real kid and his toothless grin is gone, he is still too hot to handle ;)

I am so impressed at how quick they are to acknowledge their blessings. I have always wanted my home to be inviting and comfortable. Thanks for stopping, hope you enjoyed lunch and the cream puffs! You guys are such an inspiration to us.

I hope Kamille brought back our love to the Wonderful people we love in Rock Springs. Let me put out this plug we are the finest pit stop off Highway 89! If you come by and don't stop I'll be offended.

Egg Race

2011-04-29T19:18:00.003-06:00

My mind has the ability to be everywhere all at once, unfortunately the rest of me is not so lucky but we had a fun RUN with Easter this year. We let the kids run in a fundraiser for the high school track team! They loved it! Rianne did the softball throw, standing board jump, 100 and 400 meter race. I saw her run the 100 she did great.

She thought she did the best in the jump but both Brant and I missed seeing her. I had to RUN over to the church to help with the fundraiser dinner for Young women's. Heath did the same events except the 400 was replaced by the 200. I did get to see him jump he did great!

Brant got to watch the races it is no surprise that Heath likes to run (Remember "killers" during basketball). Turns out he is pretty fast too. Here he is in the starting blocks or is it box?

In the 100 he ran right out of his shoe looked down but didn't stop running after he won, he said "dad my shoe" and he went back on the track to get it.

He also won the 200 by quite a bit but he didn't slow down. He was very excited about his first place ribbons

Thursday after pack meeting on we were off and running for Kanab

On Friday's run was replaced by a hike to Saleratus.

Josh and Morgan helped us handle the rough terrain. Mikko and Kaleb provided entertainment and took some great photos (which I haven't seen yet ;).

Josh showed us how to run the "spider wall" and also redemption on the wall. Heath proved again he is FEARLESS. Brant actually held him over the "water fall" to wash his hands.

We saw a few lizards and had a few snacks it was a beautiful day. Kristi is the best not only were our guides for the hike her sons but she gave us haircuts dinner and got us started on the egg decorating.

The Easter bunny came for Saturday morning,

I love that my kids searched for their empty egg and what color it was (we talked about what each color symbolized) Then we took Heath up to the park (can you believe Ria is too old L for an egg hunt. He took out a couple kids while running after eggs but was disappointed to only find 5.

After we got home he opened one and found that he had a slip of paper for a dollar, he is saving it because he knows grandpa was the one redeeming the dollars JWe decorated more eggs

So we can ROLL THEM! I love this tradition.

I got to ride out to the spot with Amanda, Jonathon, Jana (JC) and the kiddos (Sammie, Nellie, Daxton, and Grady) first time I got to meet Grady, super cute kid.

We got to run our tires in the sand a little bit more than everyone else J Can you believe I have been out there 9 times and still couldn't find it on my own (I have the worst sense of direction) I wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else knowing there are tough guys to get us unstuck! I enjoyed the little extra time. Here are the eggs running down the tracks.

Heath spent most of his time at the bottom "catching eggs"?

That is not an egg Heath

He loved hangin' out with the boys. Josh is so good with the little guys

I love this picture of Heath hanging on him. Ria spent most of her time with the beautiful Brooklyn not that we caught her in a picture, she is Ria in 6 years

Then it is all fun and games until we run out of eggs the remaining pieces get golfed off, then the beatings occur, I told you Heath is fearless

I promise no one really got hit with the shovel but one did get sand in the face. They had Peyton posed so cute on a little rock then he fell face first into the sand and with the Brown family you don't brush it off you get a camera, he didn't even cry but what little boy doesn't love dirt?

After we got home we had time to Run out to the rock house for the Johnson Easter celebration Grandma & Grandpa J have been married 70 years! Wish I had snagged a picture of them but at least I got to squeeze em' Rianne loves babies and enjoyed Isa.

Isa is getting so big; every time I see her I just smile she is the cutest little stinker. Heath talks tough but I think he is intimidated by Tyler's muscles.

It was a quick visit, we decided we should Run back for stake conference so Easter morning we left with the kids in tears. We tried to explain that we love our family so much and we would love to stay there, so this man

must be pretty important for us to leave so early in the morning. We were running late so I didn't get pictures of the kids in their Easter Sunday clothes. Elder Nelson asked all the primary kids to stand and sing I am a child of God, Ria said I got to sing to an apostle. After the meeting we all got to shake hands with an apostle too! For me it was also cool to shake the hand of the Dr. who preformed my grandmas heart surgery (cool story, she had a near death experience). It was awesome! How fitting that the Easter story involves Jesus' apostles and we got to hear from one! I love the story of them running to that tomb, how grateful I am for that empty tomb because He lives! His invitation to "come unto me" I will come running to him and he will give me breath!

Spring Chickens

2011-04-18T10:41:00.002-06:00

Snow and Sun Spring has Sprung! Last Saturday we were shoveling snow and this Saturday we were barbequing! Heath is no chicken whatever season shows up!

We had some visitors who think they are Spring Chickens. My folks drove 12 hours Tuesday and left at 4 in the morning Saturday for another 12 hour trip home—I hope they recover. They aren't as young as they used to be, literally my mom shared her birthday with us.

Brant wore a happy birthday tie to work just for her and made her fish, her favorite. She shared with Heath who also loves fish.

My dad said when he told her they WOULD be visiting us for her birthday it was like the Bosch Christmas—side story: my mom is easy going so sometimes it is hard to get a reaction out of her but the year my dad surprised her with a Bosch mixer and her OH Oh Oh reaction is renowned throughout family, it's how we gauge someone's excitement! It made me feel pretty good that a visit with us would even make that list. Dad said she almost jumped as high!

What is a birthday without cake, even if you have diabetes. I think she was impressed with Heath's b-day gift a porky pooper (such a thoughtful kid). Ria was a little more stumped because she knew grandma collects pigs then inspiration hit and she said "I like pigs too I'll give her pigs the way I like them" (bacon) it was pretty funny!

The rest of the time we put them to work Dad fixed our fence and gate, Mom spoiled us with good food and a special treat (her deviled eggs are the best). I love Heath's devilish face in this one!

We drug them all over and they put up with my busy schedule. They brought us some camping stuff, which we will need for the Trek. They also brought us pork & (lots of it) It was Quick but we will take what we can get! It was great to have them here. Hope they will hop back soon!

Saturday at the Easter Egg Hunt

Weird Ri the Science guy?

2011-04-18T09:54:00.002-06:00

Rianne entered her science project. The buoyancy of bowls all her idea (even if Brant & I wanted her to try some other cool stuff). She was pretty excited to take 3^rd place!

There will be other years for our crazy ideas. Brant had a good time with it and has been checking out science experiments on the web! Look out Myth Busters Ria and Dad are quite the team and I think they enjoyed the daddy daughter time too!

You ain’t Foolin’ Anyone

2011-04-04T17:16:00.003-06:00

Who are these fools?

I want to celebrate everything. I love holidays and know that despite my parenting flaws, my children will have some happy childhood memories. Rianne actually has April Fool's in her top three for favorites. We had our April fools family home evening about the Wiseman and the foolish man. We had visitors and Heath was so excited to have one of his Primary teachers come. Instead of blocks I thought it would be fun to do jell-o jigglers but I foolishly made regular jell-o ;). We stacked Marshmallows instead I think we still got the point about building on a strong not shaky foundation and having a testimony of Christ and His words, which goes with the history of April Fools.

(here it is in a nut shell if you don't know) 1582, in France. Prior to that year, the New Year was celebrated for eight days, beginning on March 25. The celebration culminated on April 1. With the reform of the calendar under Charles IX, the Gregorian calendar was introduced, and New Year's Day was moved to January 1. Communications being what they were in the days many people did not receive the news or couldn't read the announcement; they continued to celebrate the New Year on April First. They received the label of "fools" by the general public. They were subject to some ridicule, and were often sent on "fool's errands" or were made the butt of other practical jokes. It is always good to remember that I can know for myself the truthfulness of the gospel and how grateful I am to Read His words. I'm also slow to conform J

Then came the day of foolishness; We had "eggs" for breakfast, I'm so glad Pam gave us some eggs from her chickens because it played into the size of the yolk. We had inside out sandwiches for lunch. Rianne was stocked up with pranks for school.

You can see her inside out sandwich and of course the apple cider vinegar (apple juice). She wrapped her ankle and hopped into circle time with all the "what happened?" she yelled "April Fools". I think that one was her favorite. She took a shock pen and got a few laughs from that, and of course the ol' spring in a can joke got the lunch duty lady with that one. I also made sure she had some worms and rocks for lunch she loved the little surprise treat. She came home so excited about the day I couldn't help but smile. She gets so excited to pull a prank that she almost gives it away.

Heath on the other hand is very sneaky, in March he got caught watching basketball, instead of cleaning his room, I couldn't really get too upset with that he did let me know the score J I made some foolish picks on my bracket and Brant killed me this is not good for my record he beat me in bowl picks too. Sorry, foolishly distracted.

On April 1^st Heath put his breakfast plate in the pantry to trick me and never said anything until I found it just after lunch! He loved being a sneaky prankster April first or not.

I made "milk shakes" for dinner really I just blended soup but when Brant went to add salt Ria tricked him by switching it to sugar. She was the only one that got Dad!

Then we got treats ready, got into our disguises (that could fool anyoneJ) and set out on our Fool's errand. I hope the unsuspecting fools enjoyed their treats!

How fitting that General conference falls right after April Fools, How great the wisdom and the love! What a wonderful weekend filled with a little foolishness and a lot of Wisdom!

Luck of Leprechauns

2011-03-19T07:31:00.002-06:00

The kids have been anticipating this visit for quite some time. When Heath was matching socks the other day and a few were missing, he was convinced the leprechaun took them and that they would show up on St. Patrick's day. The socks didn't but the Leprechaun did. He created this mess…

Rianne found her shoe.

Heath found his boot in the office, and followed the shoe prints to his new pair of flip flops and a trick calculator.

It was so funny when he pushed it and got sprayed with water in the face, "Oh the leprechaun got me good, I totally didn't see that coming". Brant found his shoes with a new green shirt and tie, if he's lucky the elbow won't rip, we've been having trouble with that!

I found my shoes. We had Irish flag for breakfast. Rianne finally found her other shoe in the freezer the leprechaun really tricked her with that hiding spot.

We cleaned up the leprechauns mess and got ready for the Pot o' Luck!
Grandma Brown sent these aprons so the kids could help me make treats to get ready for St. Patrick's Day complete with treats in the pockets!

She sent a little note that made me feel so good too! I told Brant I have the best mother-in-law to which he responded "hey, mine are pretty good too!" We made pots of gold

and shamrock pop, the kids were awesome getting ready for the party.

We hosted a Pot 'O Luck (I think it is officially an annual event)

The Irish proverb "May your home always be too small to hold all your friends". And we have great friends! Look at all that fun food!

I loved the little side conversations everywhere the volume level and the laughter! My home felt like one big happy family, if only for a night! My friend put together a tricky treasure hunt for us to try!

here is Jordan bombared with kids for help with the clues even little Isaac is getting into the action.

The kids enjoyed it but the orange and green clues took too much time and they lost interest, well all but Morgan (we love this girl). She kept asking me if they had solved the green clue yet, I told her to ask Isaac he was the adult(working on it) after 2 or 3 suggestions, she finally in frustration said "Isaac can't even walk yet" Her baby brother's name is Isaac and I realized her confusion, it was funny. They did catch a rainbow (skittles) at the end of the treasure hunt. Here are a few of the guys at the house this picture doesn't show how crowded it was.

I was also so happy to have so many babies in green this little girl (in red) is lucky but may not feel that way when she is 9 and this is her primary class.

I hope everyone had a great time. It was just what I wanted just wish I had a bigger house ;)

March Madness

2011-03-10T11:11:00.002-07:00

We got a little taste of March Madness with the kids. This was Ria's second season playing upward basketball, and Heath's first season. They both had the same coach (different teams) and They both had a blast!

Rianne seemed to get better, and better every game. Defensively she learned to be the meat (stay between her girl and the basket). I think she got a piece of the ball on this one.

again with the turn ahh! but she looks like a volleball blocker :)

She really hustles and uses the bounce pass very well and is a pretty good shooter, if she has a little time.

Her highlight was there come from behind game, she loved that, I think they were down like 20 points at half time and came back to lose by 2. The last game they played a very tough team it was nice to see her be a little more aggressive. She really crashed the boards and was very competitive. She played on a team with some really great girls!

Heath got really good, He was old enough to play in the league but I think he was the only one not in Kindergarten or 1^st grade.

At first he ran around like a kamikaze. He loved defense he would say all the time "my guy didn't get the ball". Competiveness wasn't' an issue for him, after ever game he would ask if they won (they don't keep score with his age group). I would say did you have fun, when he said yes then I'd say then you won. By the end of the season he really understood defense and offence.

He is quite the little dribbler and rebounder too. We were a little worried when he was trying to avoid rebounds in practice so he could run killers (ladders). Seriously he loves it; he set them up and did them at home all season. He also loved the beginning of the game when they announced his name and he ran out (they played that at home too)

Our biggest highlight was watching basketball on TV with both kids totally into the game, Heath was addicted he loves to see them dunk; it makes my heart happy too! They are going to love March Madness! When does little league football start? J

Pair of one

2011-03-08T07:41:00.002-07:00

made this for Brant, He love Jones Cream Soda they are stacked up one on one :)

11 is a pair of one's
We celebrated 11 years on March 4^th. Brant had a few little stops planned. He knows me, so well and started out our celebration with Junk breakfast! Then we went to the temple. On our wedding day we drove to Idaho Falls together as the temple came into view I remember those butterflies of excitement, 11 years later as we turned up the road to see the Mesa Temple I got a few little butterflies, We had been so hungry for a temple trip!

We met the cutest couple the Allen's they will be married 68 years in May it was what we needed to see! Reminded us that in 11 years things have changed but we still look into those same eyes and will Forever! I wish I could say that we received some aha moment in the temple, but we didn't feel like some immediate solution presented itself. However, the peace was incredible just feeling like, "yes it's hard, it may not get easier but we have the power to get through it—Together." We enjoyed the display in the visitor's center. We went to LDS family services, this adoption recertification process has been frustrating but we won't focus on that.

I must have hit it too hard :) I was only a little of course, ha ha

We enjoyed dinner together; we still enjoy each other's company! The most revealing part of our celebration was Golf Land. We had a blast, I did horrible as usual. We are how we golf; He is a softy and I over do! Brant would hit it too soft and I would smack it too hard, we laughed. After 11 years we are still balancing each other out and we have so much fun on this course!

still can't get this to turn :( Soft Shot

Some of the hardest times have made our love deeper than I thought possible. Those hard times have somehow changed us, even if we are the only ones who know it. We get through it together, we change together! There is no one else I'd rather be facing these challenges with. I'm grateful for the heartaches and challenges, I'm grateful for a marriage that has been better than I could have imagined. I like me better with him. We really are a pair of one!

March out of the Funk

2011-02-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

So, I realize my last blog was fairly depressing. Life is good it has its challenges and we've been hit with a few lately but sometimes you just need to change your focus. That came just in time,

Natalie came by for a quick trip and I spent the day with her, WOW I needed that! It is never long enough!

Then the snow storm hit it actually was so pretty and seemed to blanket some of the February funk I was feeling.

Look how peaceful it looks

Then we let them out…

After, what a fun mess! We had hot cocoa and toast. It was simple but it just changed my focus.

I sometimes spend too much time as a referee blowing the whistle because things don't stay unruffled. I was forgetting I'm a coach who can enjoy the team even when it feels like we aren't winning. It was time to March Forth out of the Funk!

Love SICK

2011-02-16T19:06:00.003-07:00

February has been a bit of a Funk for me. Car troubles, Adoption dilemmas and master's classes more specifically Stats add to the funk not to mention we've have had sickness go through our family starting with Rianne to Heath and then to Brant. I was somehow able to avoid it…

I know I love holidays and am a bit obsessive, it was confirmed when Heath was crying because he didn't have any Valentine's PJ's (it was really late L). RIDICULOUS!!!!

We love you a "HOLE PUNCH"

I'm not a big fan of Valentine's day don't get me wrong, I'm grateful I didn't have an arranged marriage (scary thought) but February 14^th holds no real sentiment for me. We made Valentine's for the Grandparents and decorated cookies.

And over the weekend we showed our Love and support for the amazingly talented Tyler, who wrestled for the Championship (2^ndPlace) He is a stud we are very proud of him! (sorry no pictures, it was too dark). We hustled back home for 8 am church, my kids LOVE it…

I made love muffins and a cupid smoothie on Valentine's morning but was nauseous most the day (I don't care for the holiday but it usually doesn't make me sick).

We usually go out to eat at a local greasy spoon, (no crowds… it is the perfect tradition). Apparently my distain for the holiday caught up with me and I was throwing up. So Brant did dinner for the kids. Brant loves hot dogs and so did the kids!

Sorry about your neck

don't know why they won't rotate

I'm still not feeling very good and hope I get out of this February Funk soon.

Sure

2011-01-17T13:25:00.005-07:00

Sure deodorant

I don't normally go to church like this but I took a picture so my mom could see my object lesson. I am blogging it, for her because it was a little unconventional. I started the lesson asking the girls how I looked yesterday (we had a youth temple trip) then asked how I looked today? The girls were too nice and told me I still looked cute but admitted I looked better yesterday. I talked about how it is just the same thing every day and asked why it was important to do it. They said they just feel better when they have taken care of themselves. I asked what would happen if I only showered once a week or brushed my teeth occasionally. Then I shared the lesson about living the gospel every day, and although it doesn't save us from bad hair days we are able to get through it when we apply the principles we talked about Love, Service, Obedience, work, study, and Prayer. I talked about how we wouldn't think of leaving for school without brushing our hair, but do we sometimes leave without saying our prayers? I hope the girls understand that it may not be as noticeable on the outside but He knows and we should try to live the gospel daily in our lives. The quote I gave them was this: " The SURE way to peace and happiness in this life and life hereafter is to serve the Lord today and every day" Marion G Romney

Who NEW

2011-01-09T18:44:00.003-07:00

Heath & dad pulling up the old carpet

I don't know what 2011 will bring but so far we have been enjoying some new experiences. My brother, who, is very talented brought down his tools and some pad, and of course his awesome family all the way from Montana and installed new carpet for us! I knew we picked the right color when Heath told us "it looks like dirt".

Ria & Dad prepping her room for carpet

It was great to have his family here whenever I am around my sister-in-law I am amazed by her she is so incredible! Chad and I both admit we married above ourselves! The cousins got along pretty good considering there wasn't much to play with because it was all boxed up for the carpet.

Cousins on the carpet

We did enjoy despicable me a few times "It is so fluffy I'm going to die". Chad worked too hard and too fast, we celebrated Happy Noon Year with them. They took off New Years Eve! I wish they could have stayed longer and we could have done more things with them, they will just have to come back soon!

We had to ring in the New Year with our new carpet, Wii and good friends with little kids it is tricky. We had the Udall's over and we rang in the New Year with New York. Isaac (Spike) got his New Year's kiss!

We made fun drinks and the girls did Cheer's!

New Years day we enjoyed FOOTBALL, friends and food! Our New Years tradition is to measure the kids, to see how much they have grown. Ria is now 4'4" and Heath is now 3'8" Now that Brant and I are done growing up, we still like to see how much we've grown (not physically, that is just depressing). This year I feel like our gratitude and faith have grown the most. Personally resolutions occur for me throughout the year, some weeks are better than others but I'm so grateful to take the sacrament. Hopefully my kids will recognize their growth and strive to grow in other areas and all year as well.

Our New Church time is now at 8 am and we live about 25minutes from the church, Sunday naps are back! I also received a new Church calling, I am now serving in the Young Women's! I was very apprehensive about the time commitment, working with girls and women. I expressed my apprehensions, my lack of talent and all my concerns, why I was nervous, but willing with the Lord. I can say our bishop is truly inspired when I was set apart he addressed all my concerns, I felt so much peace and will be holding to those words of comfort. I'm still nervous but know this is where I'm supposed to be.

Christmas Cram

2011-01-03T09:25:00.002-07:00

As a kid December was the longest month ever with the anticipation. I can't believe we crammed all this in and it went by so fast. I am always amazed at what we can accomplish in one month and wish I could keep that pace and be as giving all year.

We had a our Christmas breakfast dinner on Fast Sunday

Bruce & Ria with Christmas Tree Fench Toast

Of course our festivities included visits with Santa he rode right in fire truck just down the street it was great and a personal little visit. Some recruiting may have been occurring for Heath to join the elves.

We also had the ward Christmas party, it was a great time and the theme was a cowboy Christmas, aren't we cute? (Thanks for the photo's Tera!)

We joined in on some traditions with friends here and did some Caroling at a Nursing home for our 2^nd year.

Singing Friends

In December we read a Christmas story every night. We also did a little twist to the gift giving this year with Gifts of Gold (something they really want), Frankincense (something that is good for their mind, body or spirit) and Muir (something they need) after a few weeks of drilling this to Heath he asked "which wise man built the house? I was not sure what he was talking about but then I realized he was talking about the wise man and the foolish man song "the wise man built his house upon the rock". He really is a smart kid, I've been celebrating Christmas now for how long and never thought of that!

We decided to have Christmas in Kanab and miss the night of Bethlehem this year but look forward to it next year, heard the costumes were amazing!

Rianne is very patient with Heath, but after 2 hours she was done with his repetitive and obnoxious behavior, she said "Heath will you please be quiet I have a headache, well I don't actually have a headache but your sounds are annoying me".
We made it in town to take a few family pictures for the Johnson's and spend a little time at the Johnson party. Then we went to Brant's brother Matt's home to put on the nativity read by Grandpa one of my absolute favorite traditions! My camera was still broken so although I tried awkwardly to take some pictures the family was kind enough to share thanks!
I don't know how about wise men more like wise guys!

How about the cutest stable animals ever!

The whole cast (Heath is a shepherd but is trying to herd the horse) He spent most of our time at Christmas being Ironman's dog. Kaleb was of course ironman.

Brant was holding baby Peyton and did volunteer to be Mary I think Ria was a better choice and she did a beautiful job wearing great grandmas shawl, and holding that sweet baby.

After all that who isn't ready to leave out milk and cookies and go to bed! Santa did come and shared his milk with Rudolph, turned it red. The kids were up early as you can tell the sun isn't up yet and we started on the presents I got a new camera and this is my first picture I'm not sure how Heath feels about it J

Have you ever seen a kid get so excited for Nasaline? She asked for her own I think she got more excited for it than the wii, actually I think she was more surprised by the wii Santa brought, excitement came later!

Everybody was happy with their gifts, I was too but had the camera!

To Brant from Ria

We went up to open presents with Grandma Mary and Grandpa Jeff! Mary is such a great gift giver. She really knew just what we needed this year, Thank you so much!

Ria got a bedazzler and things to bedazzle and Heath got the batman car he has been begging for since before his birthday! Tayla loved her little purse we gave her. Aren't these the cutest little cousins ever I love Isa's face.

I think this is so cute Uncle D (Scooby Doo) on the way to Kanab Heath said he hoped he saw Santa again because he wanted to change what he wanted to an ipad (We purposely avoided any contact with the man in red).

He enjoyed using Derek's.

Ria got what she really wanted for Christmas riding horses is her favorite thing in the world (Thanks Wenda & Brittney)

Heath said it best "this has got to be the best day of my entire life" Christmas crammed with all the goodness was a success! Love the gentle reminders we received all month of our Heavenly Father's love for us in the gift of His Son.

Tis’ Bowl Season

2011-01-02T14:11:00.003-07:00

We started it out like we do every year, our debate about how many bowl games there are and of course our picks. This Bowl season kick off happened for us in Albuquerque at the New Mexico Bowl. We took the car's odometer to over 200,000 miles and enjoyed watching our nephews who play for BYU. We are glad we made the trip, with BYU going independent I don't know how many games will be close enough to travel to. When picked Ria up from school she had made this for the game, and was sure T would love it.

These are our nephews and their super cute wives Kori and Sara. I have to admit I was a little nervous to be in the cold with these two girls who always look so cute, they still looked cute but they were still pretty nice to me!

Kori and Rhen

T and Sara

Brant got Heath a hotdog and put relish on it Heath was complaining, When Brant tried it out he realized it wasn't relish but Jalapenos, (crazy New Mexicans)! It was so hot Heath decided to strip out of his clothes J.

I was very glad I got to watch T snap the ball. (He just started doing that this season). I really like how he adds to the dog pile near the end of the play. It is always a pleasure to watch the Brown boys show emotion and I liked T getting excited with touchdowns picking up little guys and carrying them in celebration.

That Big O line!

It is always great to watch a win! Especially a big one, so Rhen could get in a few more series, which completed the experience for me as he received a random head butt from a UTEP player, kind of funny.

This is us as a group

Heath, Brant, Jana, Rianne, Sara, T, Sara's Mom, (can't remember her name sorry) Kori, Rhen, Robert (Brant's brother) and Nina (the mom)

This is the BYU group getting their trophy I like that you can see both T #60 and Rhen # 87.

My bowl picks started out strong but have fizzled hopefully I can pull it out this week, I usually do at least better than Brant with my picks! Tis the season we love at our house!

Tooth & Nail

2010-12-21T09:38:00.002-07:00

This year we tried to get the kids to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, so we gave 3 specific things they were grateful for, with their 3 candy corns' everyday through the month of November. It was working fine, started to hear a few more specific thank you's in prayers, rather than just "all our many blessings". We also got this conversation:
Heath: I'm grateful for my teeth, the good ones
Rianne: in the friend (magazine) an apostle said we should be grateful for everything, so you should be grateful for your bad teeth too!
Heath: Why?
Rianne: For the experience!
I can tell you I have not felt very grateful for the many trips to the dentist or the cost involved or the dental insurance fiasco or the boy when his teeth are hurting. I didn't enjoy spending more money on the antibiotic because he is allergic to penicillin or the worry I feel for him.
He went in last Monday for round one and as soon as we can work out the insurance we'll do round two!

fitting shirt for the dentist don't you think?

I am grateful for a very tentative dentist, for the technology to do all of this with Heath in as little pain as possible. Especially because I feel so guilty!

I am grateful that Heath is here. I wish my body would have assimilated him with the calcium he needed for those little teeth. But SO grateful that this seems to be the only real complication from my pregnancy. I'm grateful for that experience that my body could carry him and he was born HEALTHY! I'm grateful for those bad teeth because it reminds me of what a little miracle he is! How grateful I am for the man of faith I am married to!

It also makes me so grateful that Heath is a champ, he is so good to brush and floss, he really does take good care of the pathetic teeth he has.

remember when he fell asleep flossing (flosser in his mouth)

I am grateful for dentists, for sleepy juice and for a little assistance in financing so much dental work, from more than one source Thank you J

I am grateful for good teeth & for bad teeth! Grateful for the experience and hope it is over soon!

Sum it up!

2010-12-19T09:27:00.002-07:00

In one my many experiences with teenage Sunday school (The absolute best calling in the church). I had a kid telling me about competing in the cipher down (math competitions). He said they got all pumped up, chanting Sum it up, Sum it up! While I don't share his enthusiasm for Math sometimes a good shout is in order just to make you feel better. I have been working on my masters and this fall I was accepted into the psychology program here at NAU and I am officially pursuing a masters in human relations. My dad asked me why human relations I told him it was because they don't offer one in bovine relations, (That's what he has his masters in J).

I was feeling pretty down about this semester and everything I intended to do and didn't. I was enrolled full time and it was probably too much! This has been a very stressful semester but when you SUM it Up. it makes me feel much better!

all the paperwork to get into my program, because they are no longer offering the masters I was going to pursue, good change just more work.
I taught a brain processes class in NV for a couple days
Adoption process which included a conference, fingerprinting etc. (hopefully in January we'll be on line)
Bought a house & moved in (sort of we can now park in the garage!)
Brant's crazy travel schedule which included a trip to Alaska. (which left me the majority of the unpacking)
Being a mom maybe not a good one but still a lot involved in that
Both my kids had birthdays! And My best friend had one with us too J
Taught noodle making and Sunday lesson in Relief Society (in addition to my Sunday school calling)
Took a book of Mormon institute class (so worth it)
Halloween which involved the sewing of a platypus tail or a friend did. Thanks Annette for the curtains too, and painting the wall,
Didn't get out thank you cards but I INTEDNED to so I thought of it often, I did, however do my visiting teaching!
Started an in-home business (it's not going great, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it)
Holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas Preparations!
Heath and his many dentist appointments
All the Homework, Papers and projects, quizzes etc.
Still managed to cook dinner a few times, do some loads of laundry, dishes, help Ria with some homework

When you put it all out there, I do see how my burdens have been made light! How stressed I was and that I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but better than expected with all of the above going on and some not listed. I do enjoy the subject matter, for now enjoying the break. Next semester I have statistics, so wish me luck!

Go Grateful

2010-12-06T14:01:00.003-07:00

I love a holiday! How about one where you eat yourself sick and watch football for days! It doesn’t get much better!

When we got to Kanab Heath set up a bed for his cousin Caiden (right next to him). Heath loves this crazy boy!

Thanksgiving dinner was so so good. Everybody contributes to that delicious meal! I contributed a few pies for Thanksgiving. I also brought some turkeys with me!

Have I ever mentioned that when I grow up I want to be just like my mother-in-law? She is one of my hero’s and THE best cook! This wasn't taken on Thanksgivng but it is classic Brown family aroung the table this was on Sunday!

My kids have the best cousins, I cannot even express my gratitude for those older kids, including my kids, playing with them, loving them and being great examples and teaching them to really value this family they belong to. My kids have no idea how lucky they are but I am so grateful for my wonderful nieces and nephews! Continue being good, so my kids will too! I promise they are watching you!

Heath got a kiss from his cousin Brook

Em's & Ria special hand shake

Ria now and how beautiful she'll be in future too!

We also got to meet our newest, sweet great nephew (wow that sounds weird). Payton, who as his name indicates LOVES FOOTBALL (Good Boy)

For Black Friday we left our kids in Kanab and we dressed in white and went to the St. George temple!

Here is the proof that Brant didn’t just watch football all weekend, you won’t find any evidence of me on that one. They went on a little hike.

I did some bonding time with my sister-in-law, Tye! I don’t think I could adequately express how amazing our visit was! No pictures, who looks cute crying and wiping away mascara?

How cute are these turkey's? I believe they were Tye's idea, Alvin supervised!

I have to share this little story: Every grandchild has slid down grandma’s stairs right? Heath was sliding down the stairs on mattresses with Trajen (who is a year younger & a great-grand child). Trajen was trying to pull the mattress up but it was a little too heavy. Heath said: “Trajen say I think I can” Trajen responds timidly with an “I think I can?” Heath pulls out his best, I’m talking to a little kid voice and says: Say it over and over, I think I can I think I can, Trajen repeats it, Heath says: now say it while pulling the mattress. Trajen pulls the mattress to the top of the stairs, repeating I think I can, I think I can. Heath says (again with the voice) You did it Traj! Back to regular voice “Now don’t move a muscle, he climbs on and they make another slide down the stairs!

We also got to sneak away and visit with the Johnson’s for a while (There is never enough time to be everywhere and do everything). I enjoyed way too much wonderful Pumpkin Pie with the Pumpkin right from Mary & Wenda’s garden and the best nut crust ever! Why did I even type that now I really want some more! Ria loved playing with Tayla, she is getting so big and she is such a smart little stinker too!

I’m grateful we live close enough to GO spend some holidays with family! Here is Heath as Samuel the Laminite!

Sam

Now it is time to prepare for Christmas.

Pick a Picture

2010-11-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Natalie did a fabulous job capturing our family. She really knows us and got some great candid shots! I am just having a hard time picking my favorite.

Want to do a collage of these

Family Favorites

Kids

Captured moments

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, Natalie! I even looked good in a few of them, you are amazing :)!

My Natalie

2010-11-14T16:42:00.003-07:00

Natalie spent her birthday weekend with me! I have been looking forward to this for a long time and even though it went too fast (it is never enough time) it was so fun. It just makes me miss her more and wish she was closer. We picked her up at the airport on Thursday night; Rianne was very excited to make her a sign that said Best Friend! We stuck her in the back seat with the kids; Ria fell asleep on her lap, while Heath held her hand. I sometimes don't like to share MY Natalie but it was cute.

They put on a little show for our guest

Friday, we took her out to dinner.

Saturday we surprised her with a little birthday party, with some new friends. She also met a relative (I swear everyone in Arizona is relatedJ).

I was excited to make her a cake, Natalie collects strawberries and even if it turned out like a little girl cake it was fun.

I think everyone had a good time at the party.

Eat the cake Natalie!

loved this of Bruce!

Natalie shared her photography gift with us, by taking some family pictures. I'll share them when she gives them to me ;). On Monday we did some shopping and I took her to the airport, I fumbled at my inadequate expression of gratitude for her and our incredible friendship. I didn't even make it to her getting out of the car before I was in tears! Where are those dang Bank Tubes? (Inside joke).

We were roommates in college which means we have been friends forever! (Like 12 years right?) She has seen me through it all! Shared my greatest moments and picked me up from my greatest failures. We are in a continual conversation that most people couldn't follow if they wanted toJ. She is the strongest person I know and so incredibly talented. I am amazed that there are people who could meet her and not love her! People see her everyday and don't know they just walked by the most incredible friend in the world! I think everybody deserves to have a friend like Natalie, but this one is MY Natalie!

Fall is Frighteningly Fun

2010-11-07T11:42:00.003-07:00

Fall is my very favorite season. While Brant was gone we had a little fall camp fire with friends. Here are the ladies (well a few little men are in the picture too!)

Tera, Annette, Lacey (down) me (up) Jamie, Kathrine

I thought it was ironically funny that when we got there the little boys immediately started throwing rocks into a big puddle. Minutes later we found the men throwing rocks as well, oh how they grow up!

We had a pumpkin carving party with friends And ridiculously fun food!

My fingers would have been funnier if little Bruce wouldn't have cut his fingers L

Look at this little "bag of bones" (Dryan) with some big bones (Tyson) So cute we couldn't get enough of him.

Brant was still in Alaska but Heath insisted we still carve a pumpkin. He turned out alright.

Here is the Jack-o- lantern with an undercover, secret agent platypus!

That is right Heath went as his favorite cartoon character—Agent P from Disney's Phineas & Ferb.

Dad was nice enough to dress up as Agent P's nemesis the Evil Dr. Doofenshmurtz

Here he is using his candy-anator

The battle continues…

Ria was set on being a vampire, She looked great and it was much easier to put together than a platypus tail (Thanks Annette)

We had a good time at the ward Trunk or Treat. A Fun Halloween night

9 and just fine

2010-10-31T12:29:00.003-06:00

This kid got to celebrate her birthday all week! Before dad left we let her open her present from Heath (so she could wear it to sing in the primary program) Every time we went to the mall she would check on this dress, and then say it's still not on sale, then when she saw it was on sale she was so excited but it was still too much money, she was pretty disappointed. One day I was with Heath and it was so cute he went over to the sales rack and said "mom its Ria's dress" I checked and finally it was reasonably priced so, I asked Heath if he would like to get it for her for her birthday. He was so excited to give it to her and even asked a few times if I remembered where it was, & requested just to see it, then he would exclaim I'm so excited; she is going to love it!

When Brant left he had an 8 year old daughter and we he came home she was 9! She cracked me up that morning I made her breakfast with her favorite (sausage & bacon).

While she was having breakfast she said "So I've been tempted for a year now right?" It took me a while to get what she was asking then I answered yes, Satan has been able to tempt you. To which she responded "I'm doing a pretty good job" Yes, Ria you are doing just fine, but there are more years ahead and hopefully every year you can respond with that. How grateful I am for this girl and her reminders. For me there have been some good years and some not so good years but with the Lords help I too am just fine!

I also took her class doughnuts and chocolate milk for her birthday. She was excited that her birthday came on crazy hat day at school.

Then I took her and a friend to the mall (most of their time was spent at Claire's, they picked out magnetic earrings and a mood bracelet.

I let her open a few presents sent to us thanks grandma Mary and Sienna! She wanted to save some for when dad got home!

After dad got home with his surprises he brought the kids Alaskan huskies (stuffed animals) the kids were thrilled and then too add to a late night she couldn't wait to open her Alaskan birthday present from dad (porcelain doll)!

She also had no idea she was getting a real cowgirl hat. (From the boot barn, she has wanted it for a very long time).

With the dress, cowgirl hat and boots crossed off her wish list, who knows what she'll want for Christmas. She was so sweet and expressed her gratitude.

She wanted a bubble gum cake;

we let her invite 4 friends over for cake and ice-cream.

Hailey, Ria, Ginger, Ashlee

They had a good time playing bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish!

She is officially 9! She is the most helpful kid I know. I don't know what I'd do without her, especially while Brant was gone. I love how she says "mom don't mop the floor let me do it when I get home". Or how she asks if she can make dinner all by herself. She is a great big sister; I can't tell you how many mornings I got up to find Heath had climbed in bed with her sometime in the night. I see where I rank in the comfort giver for that kid ;). Her faith amazes me. She is so smart and I love how she always takes care of her homework without any reminders.

clapping out the candle's

She looks like her dad and reminds me so much of Grandma Brown (a genuine care taker). She is a kind and thoughtful kid. Her teacher told me that once a month they get a "happy day" they can go to lunch early and take one friend with them. On her happy day she chose to take a little girl with special needs that was in a wheel chair. The teacher said it made the little girl very, very happy. (I cried happy tears, I was so proud of her)

Brant’s Alaska trip

2010-10-30T13:15:00.003-06:00

I was able to go to Alaska again for work this month and it signifies the end of my travel for work. I have accepted a new position within my office as Assistant Director for Transfer Credit Evaluation. It will be a lot different from the recruitment stuff I have been doing for the last 4 years but I think it will be a good change. If I am lucky they will ask me to go to Alaska again since I now know the ropes. It was a great trip even if it was very tiring. I was able to visit several different cities which was awesome.

Ketchikan…The Rain Capital of the United States

On the ferry with the airport behind me.

Ketchikan really does get more rain than anywhere else in the country and as you can tell I got the true experience. I was only there for a day but it rained the whole time. Still it is a beautiful place. I don't really like seafood much, but I promised Jana that I would at least try some Alaskan Halibut while I was on this trip so I got that out of the way on the first night as I went out to a local restaurant and ordered a halibut BLT. It was actually pretty good. I also had fish again the next day while in Ketchikan for lunch I had some yellow-eyed rock fish which is another white fish and it wasn't too bad either. I am still not a seafood lover, but I think Alaskan Halibut is not too bad. I did have some other seafood later in the trip and I can tell you that I still don't like shrimp.

Sitka

They say that all of southeast Alaska gets a lot of rain, but the day I spent in Alaska the clouds parted and I was able to enjoy a beautiful crisp fall day in Sitka. I really enjoyed Sitka a lot. Sitka is where they held the ceremony when the U.S. officially bought Alaska from Russia. It was interesting also to see the Russian influence that is still there. Sitka actually has a Russian Orthodox Church right in the center of town. I enjoyed learning a little more of the history there and of course having some time to walk down to Totem Park where they have 11 standing totems in the woods and just enjoy the beauty of the area.

Juneau

This was the best stop because I had an extra day to enjoy the area. Thank you so much Natalie Shumway for putting me in touch with your relatives there. They were awesome to show me around. Rick took me for a hike near Mendenhall Glacier along with his friend Bud who is pictured with me near the waterfall. This waterfall is actually just a small one. There is a much larger waterfall near the base of the glacier but we decided to hike around the top of the big waterfall and see the glacier from a different perspective. It was so much fun. Of course, a trip to Alaska isn't complete unless you see a bear so lucky for me just at the head of the trail we hiked there was a black bear cub sitting right there just off the path digging for grubs in the foliage.

Anchorage

I didn't have as much time to explore in Anchorage but I was able to go down and find the temple. When I went back in March I had more time in Anchorage and got this picture of me in front of the Cook Inlet.

Fairbanks

While I was in Fairbanks I was able to go to Chena Hot Springs which is about 1 hour northeast of Fairbanks. I did get in but I will spare you the pictures of me in the water! It was pretty fun though especially because as you can see there was snow on the ground there and I was sitting in a hot pool even if it did smell like sulfur. It was pretty cold in Fairbanks, 12 degrees the morning I left.

My arrival home

I was very excited to get home after being gone for a week and a half and the kids and Jana were very excited to get me back home. Next time I get the chance to go to Alaska I am definitely going to take Jana with me although not to Fairbanks in October (she would freeze for sure). Hopefully it will be on a real vacation where we get to truly enjoy the trip and each other. I was very surprised to see a welcome home sign when I got off the plane. Isn't my family the cutest thing you have ever seen!

Man I miss...

2010-10-24T11:06:00.001-06:00

This Big Guy

Brant has been traveling a lot with work, which will come to an end next week as he settles into his new position. Then maybe we can settle into our new home!

Maybe there is some security in having some big guy lying next to me, snoring loudly. I just sleep better when he is home. I’m a better mom and as Ria pointed out I’m happier too! I like me better when he’s home too. Maybe it is good to be reminded of the things I take for granted.
I never see him as a detail man but with this Big guy gone I realize it is the little things I miss.

I miss how loads of laundry magically gets switched and end up folded. Children bathe and go to bed effortlessly. Even family scripture study just happens. There has been no small pile of books for me to pick up in the morning. I miss hearing his deep voice reading stories to the kids. I’ll even in admit I miss falling asleep as he reads to me too! I miss waking up with an extra blanket on me. I even slightly miss those nights when he takes my covers or tries to cuddle with me when I’m a sleep. I miss talking about nothing or anything I am still so grateful for cell phones! (it is just better in person). I miss watching football together.

We went down to watch Brandon a few weeks ago!

I miss how the bills get paid and the checkbook balanced. Rianne’s hair is easier to do when he’s home too, it must be that it gets combed out better :). I miss how Heath’s shoes get tied, and breakfast & lunch just happen. I even miss packing his lunch. I miss squidgy marks on the shower doors and the smell of old spice body wash:).

I miss sleeping through the night; he is the upset tummy, nightmare relief, doors locked etc. night watch guy. Look what I find when Brant isn’t here to put the kids to bed, he's in Rianne's room

Yes, that is a flosser hanging out of Heaths's mouth

I miss cleaning up dinner and doing the dishes together. I miss loading that one dish in the sink with the slightest bit of ice cream remains. I miss the way he comes up behind me when I’m working on something. I miss him coming home from work and instantly engaging in our family, from wrestling with Heath, helping me with dinner. He has even been known to help with homework (usually mine). I miss his expressions of gratitude for the few things I do, especially dinner. I miss that he takes care of the leftovers.

Brant taking care of the weeds

I miss someone asking me what I want done and the easy compliance to my time schedule. I miss “my time” and “our time”. I miss having extra help on my to do list. I miss that when I bite off more than I can chew, he is right there to chew with me (even if he warned that I was taking on too much). I miss how he sometimes has to make me take care of myself, although I am still getting the “are you taking care of yourself” questions. He is the most selfless man I know!

Happy doing yard work

I miss our inside jokes and how we can look at each other and easily interpret the look. I miss his smile and those reassuring blue eyes! I miss how forgiving and patient he is, when I ask him the same question or repeat the same story. He is patient with my weird quirks and secretly enjoys a few of them. I miss his easy laugh.

Brant's trip to Alaska back in March

I miss not getting to share this adventure—someday we will see Alaska together right? He will be here for other primary programs and birthdays. I’m sure I missed some other little things too! I really miss my very best friend, which I am lucky enough to be married to!

I miss how he always puts our needs first. The night he was packing to leave he was working in the garage moving boxes and stacking things, (I got slightly annoyed). Only to find out, he was clearing the way, so if it got cold I could park in the garage. Thanks for taking such good care of me.

It is amazing how the little things add up. How do you do it all Brant? I don’t tell you thank you enough, I miss you and love you very, very much!